So, I got my hair cut.

You know what I hate? It's when people state the obvious.

"Oh! You cut your hair!"

I wanted to innocently blink and go, "What are you talking about? My hair was always like this. Frankly, I'm really hurt that you didn't even notice."

So, the thing is, it's really short --- and I don't remember asking the hairdresser to make me look like Maria Von Trapp from the Sound of Music. And even though I felt okay about it, I knew it didn't look great or anything. But maybe I'm suspicious of everything and everybody.

First instinct is to think, "Liars."

A friend told me that I was probably one of the most oblivious person on the face of the planet when it comes to the opposite sex. When someone --- i.e. a guy I find good looking --- is trying to get to know me better, I'll just flat out ignore them and dismiss them.

But anyway...

Someone told me I looked really young --- like I was 25 at most.

Must be the whole Asian thing, you know? I think if I'm going to start lying about my age, I'll just tell people that I'm a lot older than I really am so they'll think I look young. That's the way to go, isn't it, if you're going to lie about your age?

Okay, so I don't know if this'll work, but here's a video from youtube. If you can't see it, then y'all should check out Russell Peters 'cause he's hilarious. He's the Indian Canadian comic who's just brilliant with accents --- especially Chinese ones.

I hate it when the team lead sets a meeting for, like, half an hour before it's time to go home. Like, seriously, WTF????? I mean, I like the guy and all, but I seriously wanted to club him over the head with his own laptop.

They've brought in another team lead --- 'cause, you know, two just ain't enough. He looked like he was sleeping with his eyes open throughout the whole meeting...which is pretty much how I felt, too.

So, anyway, last night was the premier of Brothers and Sisters, which I really wanted to give a chance 'cause the oh-so-fabulous Rachel Griffiths is on it --- not because of Calista Flockhart. I mean, yes, it's her return to TV after five years, but who gives a shit? She wasn't that great an actress to begin with and c'mon, Ally McBeal quickly got super annoying and stupid. It was like all of the fresh ideas David E. Kelly had just flew out the window and we were left with tired, pathetic, self-absorbed Ally, who really wasn't all that interesting.

But Rachel Griffiths? I mean, any alum of Six Feet Under kind of deserves props for being on such a friggin' spectacular show to begin with.

Okay, so, I wanted to like it, but I just couldn't, 'cause it wasn't really all that interesting. We know the father has some sort of secret and this is a huge old family and everyone's got their problems and we're supposed to identify with them, 'cause they're supposedly just like our families, but they're really not.

You know what's interesting, though? Apparently, the Canadian network showed the pilot to reporters --- before they suddenly made all of these cast changes. Like, they changed the matriarch from Betty Buckley to Sally Field. They also replaced the actor playing the gay brother and then revamped some major plotlines.

Hrmmm...wonder why.

That just seemed kinda weird to me.

But last night's premiere of Desperate Housewives? OMG. So good. I mean, the third season seems to put everything back on track, seeing as last season sort of sucked. I think the whole storyline with Lynette and Tom's other family is just going to kick ass!

Yeah.

I know.

I'm writing a lot about TV. I guess it's mostly because I don't really want to write about what goes on with me anymore.

What can I say?

I like to avoid things.

This week on My Name Is Earl:



Joy: What do you hate more, flies or mosquitoes?
Earl: Why?
Joy: Just making conversation. Damn! Never mind.
Earl: Mosquitoes.
Joy: Me too. You know, they say, mosquitoes in Africa could kill people. Imagine the size those things gotta be?
Earl: Pretty big.

See, that's the thing. I'm the kind of person who'll actually ask a question like Joy's --- when I'm trying to make conversation with someone who's got the social graces of a door knob. (I wouldn't say something stupid about the size of the mosquitos, though...or would I?)

It's weird 'cause, on the whole, I don't really have any problems conversing with people --- even complete strangers. I like trying to read them and then figuring them out. But sometimes, every now and again, you'll meet someone who's so inept and so bad at making conversation that you almost feel like you're hitting this wall and your mind becomes a complete blank.

I wonder if it's me or if it's them.

I prefer to think it's them.

So, CTV played Grey's out of order --- second episode first.



One thing TV execs should know about Grey fans --- you don't fuck with them. (Article in the paper to follow.)

Maybe it's just me, but I'm not really a McDreamy/Meredith fan. Sure, they have chemistry, but I also think they're both unbelievably selfish people. I think if McDreamy was really a stand-up, "good" guy, then he should have never gone back to the wife he felt so betrayed by. Why make a go of it with a wife who cheated on you (and who felt compelled to cheat because you weren't really invested in the marriage anymore) and if you've started seeing someone else that you actually have feelings for?

That just doesn't make sense to me.

But in a way, I think Meredith and McDreamy belong together --- precisely for this reason. We like to think they're essentially good people who make the wrong decisions, but the thing is, they're both kind of nauseatingly whiney and self-centred. (Which I guess makes them seem "real" in a lot of ways, 'cause, hey, aren't we all a little like that? Okay. Maybe some of us are a lot like that.)

You know what? I don't really know why I love watching this show so much. I don't. It's just really weird to me.

Managed to catch a repeat of the real first episode on ABC, though, and you know what's cool? It's how the theme of Meredith's voiceover this week was about time. Granted, this seems to be a favourite topic for Meredith.

But time seems to be something I've been thinking a lot about lately, too. Partly that it seems like I don't have enough of it, but mostly that maybe I'm not making the best use of it.

Grey's quote of the day:
"You can get over a bad childhood. You can have the worst crap in the world happen to you. You can get over it. All you gotta do is survive." - Alex

******

CTV sorry for Grey's Anatomy miscue
Sep. 23, 2006. 11:10 AM
JIM BAWDEN
TELEVISION COLUMNIST


Whoops! Canadians who tuned in to the seasonal return of Grey's Anatomy on CTV Thursday night at 8 p.m. got the second episode instead of the premiere in what the broadcaster says was "a satellite feed error at the source."

Translation: CTV received Episode 2 instead of the opener from ABC via satellite, and nobody at CTV checked the tape before it was sent out to affiliates.

In an apology issued yesterday afternoon, CTV acknowledged the error and explained that "Canadians saw Episode 2 on CTV and not the premiere we were all waiting for. As fans of the show ourselves, we understand fully the disappointment and frustration that this has caused."

CTV said it will run the season premiere of Grey's Anatomy in its entirety next Thursday at 8 p.m.

The network's Nielsen ratings figures for Thursday night show that, despite the glitch, Grey's Anatomy attracted 2 million viewers (up 4 per cent from last year's Sunday night debut).

But astute Canadian viewers tuning in to where Grey's Anatomy left off last season were confused. Just what happened to Izzie after Denny died? Some viewers phoned or emailed the network in protest.

One blogger wrote, "I know errors like this happen, but this is one of the biggest shows on television."

One fan told the Toronto Star she simply assumed she'd missed some scenes in the opener because she couldn't figure out what was wrong with the episode. She figured the gaps in the story would be explained later on.

CTV pre-releases Grey's Anatomy by an hour in Canada, so viewers who realized they were watching Episode 2 had the option of simply tuning in to ABC's Buffalo affiliate at 9 p.m. for the correct opening episode.

One viewer thought she had just missed a scene or two. She didn't realize she was watching the wrong episode until the end of the hour, when CTV ran the preview for next week and "it consisted of scenes I'd just been watching."

Other enterprising viewers on cable reported staying up to midnight and then catching the correct episode on ABC's feed to western affiliates.

In a similar satellite glitch last month, Global TV's import of the CBS series Rock Star experienced an error in the CBS feed, depriving Canadian viewers from Manitoba east of parts of the finale, airing past highlights instead.

Meanwhile, CSI on CTV retained its crown as No. 1 on Thursday night with 3.6 million viewers. And at 10 p.m., CTV's ER posted 2.3 million viewers.

In the U.S., the battle between Grey's Anatomy (ABC) and CSI (CBS) at 9 p.m. turned into a ratings rout for Grey's Anatomy. It pulled in 25.1 million viewers compared to CBS's 22 million.

Who are you?

Who reads this?

You know, even when I was working at the community paper and the newswire, I didn't really have to think all that hard. Writing has never really been all that hard for me. Journalism's about gathering the facts and spinning them into a story that's interesting to read. Not all that hard if you know how to write. Oh, and listen.

Most people are bad at listening. The listening part is also something I'm really good at --- that's why, on a bad day at work, I day dream about life as a therapist. I'd be like the House --- as in Hugh Laurie's character on Fox --- of therapists.

Instead of just calmly listening and nodding my head and not saying much, I wouldn't be afraid to tell people exactly what their problems were. That's partly because I think I know everything. Though, I don't often rub it into other people's face. I do my smug, I-was-right dance in the privacy of my own home.

But anyway...getting back to the whole thinking aspect of work --- yeah, most of my jobs, I haven't really had to think all that hard. Mostly because I think most people have lesser work ethics than me. I'm organized. I know how to get things done and pick things up quickly.

That's why I get bored a lot.

But this new job? Holy shit. I had a moment where I was sitting there, stumped, thinking, "Huh. I was awake at this training session. Did I actually forget everything just from that walk from the boardroom to my desk?"

But anyway...

Tonight's premier epsiode of Survivor: Cook Islands was interrupted by a phone call. I fucking hate it when my friends call me on a TV night (which, okay, is, like, every night), but once I saw the Asians had won the Immunity Challenge, I was like, "Okay. It doesn't matter who goes home now. At least the Asians didn't let me down." (Though, none of the Asians are even Chinese, which is kind of disappointing...though when Shii-Ann was on Survivor, I was, like, totally embarrassed. I don't even know why. Maybe it was when she was sucking out the marrow from a chicken bone and I was like, "Oh my God. That reminds me of my mother.")

Okay, so, like the two guys are actually really buff. And easy on the eyes.

Just my opinion.

Sometimes, don't you get the sense that the press makes a big to-do about how "good looking" an Asian actor is simply because they're the only Asian actors around and it's like they want to seem really open about all races?

It's like how they always go on and on about how beautiful Lucy Liu is.

That chick ain't all that beautiful. If you want to look at a really beautiful Asian actress, why not talk about someone like Gong Li?

And just back to the whole race thing and diversity --- sometimes, I get the sense that when the media talks about colour, they're really talking about the inclusion of more Black actors, which I think is a good thing. But the point I'm making here is that where are all the Asians at?

I mean, finally, on the Amazing Race this upcoming season, we're going to be seeing an Indian American team.

But I digress...

I thought it was funny when Cao Boi (pronounced "Cowboy") was sucking the "bad wind" out of Brad's forehead to relieve him of the headache brought on by his seasickness from the day before. He got this red mark on his forehead as a result --- but, hey, it worked, right? So, who cares?

(Brad, by the way? I wonder if he's gay? My sister read his profile on the CBS site and was like, "He's a fashion director." I know. That doesn't mean anything. And who cares if he's gay? He's hot.)



I think Cao Boi has the potential to be, like, really annoying, but you know what? I like him. He looks crazy, but he's got character, you know? And being a real character is cool, 'cause otherwise, you're just some boring little shit who's a waste of space on this earth. Or at least that's my take on things.

(Takes one to know one, huh?)

Anyways, I thought what was funny was how the Black team was all about how they had to "represent". I know what they meant, 'cause even though there wasn't a single Chinese person in the Asian team, I was like, "Oh my God, don't disgrace me now! Move your yellow asses and win that friggin' immunity."

I kinda doubt I'll be watching it every week, though. Thursdays are shaping up to be the worst night --- everything's on that night.

You know what would be a cool job to have? Writing a blog about television shows --- like on TV Guide.com.

The air smelled like a sour, sweaty fat man this afternoon when I was making my way towards the subway station --- I couldn't place the smell at first. It's not enough to just say something's "bad", you know? Bad doesn't describe anything. I like being specific. And I like similies. Similies, I think, serve a purpose in good, everyday conversation. Of course, most of us don't know how to indulge in good, everyday conversation. But that's just because most of us are insanely boring and just don't realize it.

Like, when someone uses the word "nice" to describe practically everything. It makes me want to slap them hard across the face --- enough to leave a handprint. Okay. Not really. That's going to a psychotic extreme here, so let's just say that I really, really, really hate it.

Another thing I hate is when we're at a training session and someone --- there's always someone --- who'll wait until the very last minute to ask a really stupid question. Like, something that was already addressed just a few minutes earlier. And the thing is, it's not like these people weren't paying attention during training --- unlike me. I'm always in a semi-unconscious state the minute I set foot into a training session. (As opposed to totally unconscious at a meeting.)

Like, there's this one guy. Every. Fucking. Time. Always with the stupid questions. And I realize it's equally stupid of me to sit there and roll my eyes and sigh loudly, but I can't seem to help it. I guess the slow-mo turn of the head and incredulous stare that says, "Are you fucking kidding me??" isn't any better.

I did that yesterday.

It kinda just slipped out.

I hate where I sit. My supervisor's cubicle looks right into mine and I have to actually turn around to see if he's checking up on me, but I'm kinda paranoid that he might misinterpret the frequent glances in his direction with looks of intense longing. Though, if he asked me out, I'd probably go. But then again, I think he's got a girlfriend. And like I said in another post, I think I have this tendency to like people I can't have. Not that I like him.

Okay, so, after not watching Survivor since the All Star game, I think I might actually want to watch the new one that's set to premier tomorrow. You know, it's the one where the tribes are segregated according to race.

And here's something shockingly stupid, courtesy of Jeff Probst, he of the toothy-white grin and vacant, nobody's-home-gaze:

" "When you start talking to a person from Asia, you realize -- Wow! They have all different backgrounds!" gushed Probst, who described himself repeatedly as a 44-year-old white guy from Wichita. [...]

The other day, he told the reporters, he went to his dentist, who is white, and the dentist brought in another dentist, who is Asian. "And I found myself saying to the Asian doctor, 'Where in Asia is your family from?' " The dentist said he was Korean. "The only reason I had the courage to even ask that question or the knowledge to ask that question was I'd just spent 39 days with people from Korea," Probst said.

Yes, he really did.

Asians, he explained, include Chinese and Japanese and Koreans and "they don't necessarily get along," adding, "This is stuff maybe I should know." "

OH. MY. GOD.

Like, I wonder if Jeff Probst read that in paper --- that amazingly ignorant quote --- and cringed, thinking, "I am a fucking idiot."

Okay, so the chances of that happening are probably slim to none.

I mean, it doesn't make me mad or anything, 'cause the fact is, there are probably a lot of people out there --- you know, yahoos living in backwater towns --- who think this, too. To them, a yellow face is just a yellow face.

I mean, how else can you explain the way Asian actors are usually seen in roles that aren't necessarily of their ethnicity. Prime example? Zhang Zi Yi, Gong Li and Michelle Yeoh in Memoirs of a Geisha, portraying Japanese women. And then there's Keiko Agena of the Gilmore Girls, who plays Lane Kim, a Korean, when in reality, Agena is Japanese. Ditto for Emily Kuroda, who plays Lane's mother.

Or Maggie Q, who was recently in Mission Impossible III --- she's half Vietnamese and half Polish-Irish, but she routinely plays Chinese characters.

All I'm saying is that to a lot of non-Asians, we're pretty much interchangeable. They see yellow skin, dark hair and almond-shaped eyes and they just assume we're all one and the same.

Ugh. And don't get me started on all those creepy guys with Asian fetishes --- you can always spot them a mile away. They're the ones who think that all Asian women are shy, quiet, demure, delicate and helpless. They're the ones who have learned how to speak Mandarin or Cantonese and who say stupid things like, "I love bubble tea and dim sum."

Um, yeah. Good for you.

Okay. That's the end of that rant.

The new John Mayer CD is perfect for this kind of weather --- cool, grey, drizzly.

You know, if I didn't like getting a regular pay cheque every two weeks and you know, eating and paying my bills and wearing clothes, I think I would have skipped out on work to stand in line at Best Buy to get his CD in the hopes of getting a wristband for the autograph session this Saturday. But, hey, if I was still at my old job, I would have taken off early in an attempt to get a wristband for the VIP section at the free concert Mayer's throwing at Dundas Square.

God. That makes me sound like some incredible loser, doesn't it? But then again, that puts me in the same league as a whole whack of other people. Where I will contemplate doing something like this (and never actually follow through, because, in some bizzare way, I'm incredibly snobbish about stuff like that and consider it beneath me), other people will actually follow through and do this.

The upside of that is they get to be front and centre at a free concert with John Mayer.

With the Toronto International Film Festival happening, I should be like other Torontonians, trolling the streets in the hopes of a celeb sighting. But no. I have seen no celebrities and I think the odds are pretty good that this won't be happening at all this year.

I don't even know what I'd do if I saw a celebrity. I mean, if I saw Brad Pitt, I'd probably do a double take, think I was mistaken, and continue walking.

And yes, this is primarily because I'm an idiot.



On House, Cameron's bangs continue to annoy me.

I really don't get the logic behind Cuddy and Wilson's decision to lie to House about the fact that he cured his patient from last week. Wilson's thinking is that House will continue to make reckless decisions and wind up killing a patient, all in the name of trying to figure out what's wrong with the patient.

But the thing is, most times, he's right and he cures the patient, so who cares?

Oh the drama!

In tonight's repeat of an old Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, we watched as Cabot lied and conducted an illegal search to get her hands on incriminating evidence that would put a serial pedophile away for the rest of his life.

She was condemned and villified for not following the law and being completely unethical and underhanded in her attempt to ensure justice was served. To everybody around her, she was just trying to ensure she won yet another case.



I didn't see anything wrong with what she did.

And it made me wonder if maybe I'm just as unethical. I wonder what The Ethicist of the New York Times would have said if this were a real incident.

Because the new company has a pretty strict policy on Internet usage, I find myself writing these little blurbs to myself on sticky notes and pasting them into my day planner. Stuff like:

Sometimes, when you start to suspect that what you're doing is nothing but pure bullshit --- like your life's nowhere near as interesting or worthwhile as it could be, you sort of deflate.

There are three yellow sticky notes with chicken scratch-like writing. If somebody found them, they'd probably think I was...I don't know. Psycho or something. Okay, maybe not.

While waiting for a friend once, she handed me her stuff while she said good bye to some people and she told me that if I opened up her agenda book, I'd find some pictures taken at a wedding that she wanted to show me.

I was kind of surprised to notice that she wrote on every available empty space, too --- just notes to herself. Stuff like, "I'm sitting at McDonald's. It's cold outside today."

I always thought I was the only one who did that.

It's weird how there are so many things that we all seem to do and yet we all think, "I thought I was the only one who did that."

What life has taught me is that humans are nowhere near as unique as they'd like to think they are. That's why it's so easy for me to predict what certain people will do and how certain people think. In some ways, it's like that guy on the new show, "Psych". He pretends he's a psychic, but in reality, he's just really observant.

That aside, I noticed on my site meter that someone from my old job has been reading my other blog. What do you want to bet it's Office Stalker?

You know, the thing is, I can pretty much sum up certain things about her life that she will never ever admit to herself --- namely that, she has no friends and that a close relationship with another human being that's not related to her is something so novel and lacking in her life that she clings to it like a drowning man would cling to a life preserver.

(I love my similies.)

Anyways...

There's nothing I hate more than having a meeting right after lunch. I'm beginning to suspect that I sleep too much, which is probably like a symptom of depression or something, even though I don't feel all that depressed lately. Not that I'm happy.

Happy?

What the hell does that mean?

But back to the whole sleeping thing...sometimes, I get the sense that maybe I'm sleeping my life away.

On a totally unrelated note, I think this guy at work thinks that I like him, which is totally not true. I hate guys like him --- guys who think they're hot shit and who act like they're the popular jocks that they were back in high school.

It's weird, but sometimes, it's like work's no different from high school.

Started writing up my travel journal for the last trip today. Usually, I jump right on that kind of project as soon as I get back. But I guess it was the whole combination of starting a new job right away and being lazy --- probably more the latter than anything else.

I thought I'd just upload the pictures first and then write around them...and at first, it just seemed really boring --- the writing, that is. Hell. Writing this now seems really boring. For me, that is. I kinda don't care if it seems boring to anybody else, 'cause it's my journal and I'm writing this mostly for me.

The problem with writing for an audience is that you start censoring yourself. And that's not the point of a journal, is it? I mean, if you lead a boring life, then you lead a boring life. Don't apologize for it. If you're self-absorbed and like writing about your problems down to the very last detail, then do it. Who gives a shit what anybody else thinks?

That was the main reason I migrated away from Livejournal --- in case any of the Livejournallers tuning in are curious as to why I suddenly stopped writing in there. But then again, I've written about that before, right?

Sometimes, I get the vague sense that maybe I'm just repeating myself.

You know what I like about meeting new people? They haven't heard all of your stories before. Everything becomes interesting and funny again.

I don't know why, but I started wondering if maybe that was it, though. Like, maybe there weren't any more interesting stories left in store. You'd think my life was about to end or something.

So, anyway...tomorrow's 9/11. Duh. I guess there'll be scores of posts about people just thinking back to where they were and what they were doing when it happened.

My cousin got married on September 11, two years ago.

I just thought it was so wrong at the time. Lucky day in a Chinese calendar aside. Don't know why, but I always suspected that he was gay and that he was just marrying 'cause his boss made some comment about how he was at that right age to start thinking about putting down roots and getting married.

He just never seemed...I don't know...in love, I guess?

But you know what I've started to see? Maybe not everyone gets that head over heels in love story. Maybe some of us wake up and start to realize that there's more to that phrase "settling down" than you'd think.

I don't know.

I'd turned the televison on to check the weather when the newscaster broke in with the live feed of the Twin Towers. I saw the second plane go into the tower as it was happening in real time.

That's what I was doing on 9/11 five years ago.

That's it.

10Sept06 001
Originally uploaded by Anonymous Writer.

On one level, I'm kinda annoyed that the neighbourhood kids thought it was okay to draw on everybody's driveways, but on the other hand, I think it's interesting to look at.

10Sept06 003
Originally uploaded by Anonymous Writer.

One of the neighbourhood kids had drawn on the driveway. I'd noticed this earlier in the day and wished I'd had my camera 'cause in one of these circles, a stray leaf had fallen and it sort of looked like a face.

10Sept06 004
Originally uploaded by Anonymous Writer.

Not quite sure how this flower wound up growing beside the driveway.

10Sept06 008
Originally uploaded by Anonymous Writer.

These purple flowers from the Hosta plant are in full bloom right now and I liked how they looked in the sunlight, but by the time I took the camera out, the shade was blanketing the flowers.

Opted to take this from a different angle and wasn't sure what I'd get, but I rather like it.

10Sept06 007
Originally uploaded by Anonymous Writer.

Also taken from a different angle. It's nice seeing the world around you in a slightly different way. It makes it seem...strange and beautiful.

10Sept06 006
Originally uploaded by Anonymous Writer.

I love the colours of this shot. It's gorgeous.

10Sept06 005
Originally uploaded by Anonymous Writer.

Up close and personal. I love getting in close with my subjects.

10Sept06 009
Originally uploaded by Anonymous Writer.

I just liked the way the light fell on the garden hose in this shot.

10Sept06 011
Originally uploaded by Anonymous Writer.

I actually don't really like this plant. I was going to tear it out but for some reason, decided not to. Took a really close look at it today, though, 'cause the flowers are just beginning to open and I was surprised at how beautiful this plant really looks up close.

10Sept06 012
Originally uploaded by Anonymous Writer.

10Sept06 010
Originally uploaded by Anonymous Writer.

Apparently, I'm hilarious.

The woman in the cubicle next to mine said we were both probably gonna get canned 'cause every time the supervisor looks over, we're just sitting there, doubled over, laughing, wiping away tears.

To be honest, I don't even remember what the hell we were talking about that was so funny. But because another girl in the office has also gone around declaring how funny I am, I guess I get the dubious distinction of being known as Funny Girl.

I'm not sure how I feel about that.

In some ways, I think that's why I had an Office Stalker in the last job --- though, that might have been a combination of Office Stalker never having had any real friends before. (Yet, she managed to find someone who fell in love with her! Unbelievable! The fact that the miserable, the shy, and the boring manage to find people and get together every day just boggles my mind and leaves me with the uncomfortable thought that maybe there's something wrong with me.)

Anyway...

Came to the realization today that I tend to have crushes on people I know I can't have because it's the safe thing to do. I know I can never have them and therefore, my feelings aren't really all that serious and I'm just playing it safe 'cause there's no risk in having a puppy crush on someone you know will never return your feelings.

How's that for self-analysis?

"One of the great advantages of your way of living is that you can be alone when you want to. Lots of people never discover what a pleasure this can be," Marjorie Hillis wrote in "Live Alone and Like It."

You know what I find incredible about this book? It was written in the 1930s and it's, by far, one of the best "self help" books I've ever read. I actually think it should be required reading for most women.

On the back flap, there's a quote from Hillis that says:

Everybody feels sorry for herself (to say nothing of himself) every now and again. But anyone who pities herself for more than a month on end is a weak sister and likely to become a public nuisance besides.

I love this book.

I found myself flipping through it before I went to sleep. Maybe it's because of this whole thing with everybody telling me I should start dating again.

It seems like everybody thinks I'm crazy for wanting to remain single for the rest of my life and simply adopt.

I think in the last couple of months, though, I've started to feel like...maybe it's better for me to be on my own, 'cause I'm really beginning to doubt that there's anybody out there for me. And no, I'm not saying this in a "Poor me" way.

I just have a hard time connecting on any sort of romantic level with anybody.

Maybe I'm expecting some thunderbolt moment and that doesn't really exist.

I don't know.

I don't really want to dwell on this too much, either.

Anyways, this guy that my sister's friend is trying to sell me on...well, I'm feeling kind of ambivalent about the whole venture. But the thing is, I've been feeling ambivalent about a whole lot of things lately.

So, Life Network finally premiered season three of Project Runway in Toronto last night. (Okay, so it was, like, probably the whole of Canada, but since Toronto sort of feels like the centre of the universe to me, I often just say "Toronto"and it's like, to hell with the rest of the country.)

Um, yeah.

I've never watched the show before.

I know.

Pretty unbelievable, given the number of hours I log in, sitting in front of my TV. And is it kind of sick that I'm really, really excited that House is premiering tonight?

I think Hugh Laurie's the hottest guy on television.

But that's pretty much an opinion held by most women, I think. Well, women who are like me. (I have a theory that there are only a few basic types of people and that we're all just variations of those types. That's why it's insanely easy for me to get a handle on most people within about a day of getting to know them. And as pompous and arrogant as this sounds, I'm usually right. That whole cliche about how you shouldn't judge a book by its cover is such a crock of shit. But more on that in some other post, when I'm more bored.)



So, is it just me or does anybody else really hate Cameron's bangs? Though...I suppose it makes her look younger. And guess what? Jennifer Morrison actually is younger than me! Like, by a year.

In a weird way, that sort of disturbs me. I don't know why.

It's like when I discovered Kaysar on Big Brother: All Stars was younger than me. I was like, "What?"

See, the thing is, the whole age thing never used to bother me. I'd like to still think that it doesn't, 'cause, really, why should we give a crap? We all get older, we all die. End of story. But, you know...if I was ever to lie about my age, I'd probably tell people I was much older than I really was. Hopefully, that'd get a "But you look so young!" response.

I've actually already jumped (mentally) a whole year ahead and when South Beach party guy asked me how old I was, I just told him flat out.

28.

Well...I am turning 28 in October.

I find even years better than odd years for some reason. But maybe that's just me being delusional.

Anyways, Life Network had Season Two of Project Runway showing back-to-back all day yesterday. And because I had nothing better to do, I found myself lying on the couch all day, watching it.

Occassionally, I sat.

Sometimes, I was eating...mainly whatever was around.

I keep reminding myself that diet has nothing to do with the condition of your skin. But I still felt like I needed to eat healthier...starting today...or some other day in the near future. I haven't been exercising lately and I've been feeling gross.

I didn't even bother to change out of my pajamas or my housecoat --- which I'm pretty sure might strike most people as a sign of depression or something, but I was actually feeling okay yesterday. Maybe a little tired, though. Didn't come home until late, having gone to see the Chinese Lantern Festival by Ontario Place the night before.



It seemed like every Chinese person in Toronto was at that festival. Maybe it was the PMS, but those China tourism ads actually had me choked up --- especially when they showed those Olympians running across the Great Wall with the Olympic torch.

My sister thought I was crazy. She was like, "Why? You're not from China."

"Yeah, but I'm Chinese."

"What does that have to do with anything?" she asked.

She didn't seem to get it.

I thought it'd be freezing out by the waterfront, but it wasn't. It was kind of cool how they marked a path all along the beach and strung these smaller lanterns to light the way --- though, the giant lanterns were pretty damn bright.



It was actually kind of nice. Not what I expected. The whole day, though, I had to listen to Sister 2 bitching and moaning about how bored she was. That was kind of boring in itself. I think most people should just suffer in silence. I don't want to hear about it. Be like me, I want to tell them. If you want to bitch, bitch in your blog but have the common decency to keep your fucking yap shut.

Anyways, I know I'm jumping back and forth here, but the weird thing about watching Project Runway is that you suddenly start noticing all these little things about clothes that you might not have noticed before.

Or maybe that's just me.

I'm extremely conscious about the way I dress --- the wrong pair of scoks make me want to rush home and change.

I don't know...lately, though, I just want a change...a change to go with the new job and the new attitude.

What is it about going away --- even if it's for a little while...'cause really, being on vacation just seems to turn a day into so much longer in some respects --- that makes you come back feeling different?