Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Is it just me or is Madonna's new line for H&M surprisingly tasteful?

The only downside to this whole new venture is that everybody's going to be buying her stuff and if there's anything I've started hating, it's looking like a cookie cutter version of everybody else.

I've been in this uncontrollable spending mood lately --- who knows? Maybe it has something to do with what happened last Monday.

I've always been a bit of an emotional spender.

I bought a cute white voil dress with Swiss dots on it. Didn't particularly need it, but wanted it, so I got it. Simple as that.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

So, I'm reading a friend of a friend's blog --- he wrote it down for me and asked me to check it out --- and I'm shaking my head and going, "Oh, no...."

I guess because you have no idea how I sound, you might not hear the groan, the sarcasm, the are-you-kidding-me? intonation injected into the "Oh, no..."

I know I keep saying this, but, man, that Beatles song, "Eleanor Rigby" with the haunting refrain, "All the lonely people...where do they all come from?" floats into my head every now and again.

My life is just one endless soundtrack...there's a song for every moment, every day, every person, every experience.

It's raining outside and it's one of those grey days where it'd be easy to sink further into a deep depression. But you know what? I feel okay today. I just don't feel like doing anything.

I'm listening to Green Day and lying on the couch, reading and feeling kinda sick.

That's the story of my life, isn't it?

I'm always feeling "sick"...though, if I were to probe a little further, I'd admit that it's more of this weird feeling at the pit of my stomach...like the sense that something's about to happen.

I don't put much stock in it anymore 'cause I always seem to feel like this, you know? Like something's always on the verge of happening...and I'm there, just waiting and waiting...and then nothing happens.

A friend of mine text messaged me this morning.

She finally broke up with her boyfriend --- the crazy, stalker psychopath guy.

Let's see if she'll be able to make it stick this time around.

Sometimes, I think we've come to this stage in life where...after being single for a long time and then finding someone, we get scared of going back to being single...and it's easier to be with someone you don't quite love simply because it feels like it's better to be with someone than no one at all.

Friday, March 23, 2007

I'm kinda feeling barfy this morning.

Well...every morning for the past week, I've woken up and dry heaved into the sink. Today I actually threw up and it oddly made me feel a little better.

Yeah, so I think that it's better for me to dial things back a bit, 'cause I feel like I'm a little too open and honest and blabbermouth-like when it comes to things in my life. It gets embarrassing when things don't work out.

*sigh*

I don't know.

When JM called last night, I just didn't feel like getting into anything and I was sort of distracted when she was telling me about how she'd finally met her boyfriend's mother.

I should be happy for her, right?

Then how come all I feel is nothing (except the urge to barf all the time)?

You want to know what the weirdest thing is? It's not like I feel depressed and unhappy. I just feel like...nothing.

It's a weird state to be in.

I mean, I haven't even had anything to bitch and moan about in my other journal...and usually, I always have something to bitch and moan about.

I was listening to this song the other night --- I'm almost embarrassed to mention it, but it was from that Canadian Idol winner, Melissa O'Neill, and it was her first single.

I actually found myself listening to it and thinking, "Yeah. She makes sense. You've just got to put yourself out there, 'cause even if you fall down, at least you'll know you tried."

I don't know.

Maybe I'm seriously cracking up.

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

God kicked you in the head
So I started a fight
Cause I knew I was right
But I learned I was wrong

- "Live and Learn", The Cardigans


So.

You ever wake up some mornings and it's like you feel you've been stripped clean of every feeling and thought you've ever had? And it's like you're so apathetic about everything that you'd almost mistake it for another bout of depression...except it doesn't really feel like depression.

I know. I'm not making any sense whatsoever.

You know what sucks? When everybody around you is like, "Are you okay?" and just handling you with kid gloves 'cause they think you're going to go postal or something, when in reality, you just feel like you're too bored, too apathetic, too blah to do anything today.

Monday, March 19, 2007



Can't get this song out of my head. I guess it doesn't help that I'm playing it over and over again, either.

Not that it has any bearing on anything that's going on in my life right now.

Though, if things turn out badly at the end of the day, I might be tempted to head straight to the liquor store and stock up and put vodka into my water bottle at work. But one mustn't turn to alcohol to solve one's problems.

Cousin D came over Saturday night and found me wearing mismatched socks, a ratty green housecoat and purple pajamas. I hadn't been drinking, but all day, all I really felt like doing was just lying there like a bump on a log.

"It's okay. We're family," he said.

So, maybe what I wrote in my one livejournal update last week was a lie: that things were surprisingly oky.

Or, maybe things are okay and I'm just falling into that old pattern of expecting the worst, you know? Constantly dreading things 'cause it's like that's just how it goes.

Ah, but that's contrary to what "The Secret" is all about, isn't it?

Speaking of which, there was an article about "The Secret" yesterday and it kind of had this undercurrent of, "This is so shite. It doesn't make any sense." And a part of me thought, "If people want to believe in this shite, why don't we just let them instead of ragging on it. People need something to believe in and cling to...it doesn't do anybody harm to be a little more positive in their lives."

Thursday, March 15, 2007



I don't like saying goodbye...not because I'm sentimental. God, no. I just find it awkward, you know?

I just feel like most people are bullshitting themselves when they claim that they want to keep in touch and that they're going to miss you.

The thing is...we're not really friends. When you work with somebody and have to see them every day, you sort of lull yourself into thinking you're friends...but the real test comes after you leave your job and then you get to see if you stay in each other's lives or not.

Some make that successful transition...most don't.

I think it's mostly because people are just really fucking lazy, you know? Like they forget that friendship takes work, just like in any other relationship.

Anyways...

Here's a question...why do some people think it's weird when two people of the opposite sex become friends...and one of them happens to be married?

Personally, I think it works best when you're just totally not physically attracted to each other...like you wouldn't even consider them if you were desperate.

Yeah. I know. That sounds mean.

Onto other stuff...is it pathetic that the new Grey's Anatomy episode is, like, one of the highlights of my week so far? Well...let's see how tomorrow goes and then we'll talk.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

You know what? Dare I say it? I actually think Project Catwalk is better than Project Runway.

First off? I love the music choices...I mean, I never really notice the music selection when I'm watching Project Runway, but with Project Catwalk, I actually feel like jotting down all the song titles and then mixing a CD based on those songs.

Secondly...the designers on the show are more outspoken --- and so is their mentor, Ben De Lisi. Holy crap...I love him! There's something so wonderfully melodramatic about him.

Actually, everybody on this season seems really melodramatic. Like, what the fuck is up with that Australian chick, Monica, who decided to totally do her own thing and not follow the brief to design a bikini.

One minute, she's going on and on about how she's the trendsetter and she doesn't care what anybody thinks, and the next thing you know, you cut to her sobbing in front of the camera as she talks about how sick she is of certain people.

I loved how Wayne says in that deadpan way of his: "She should just leave --- because people are sick of her."

I just think that most of the designers would have done better if they'd actually listened to their mentor...I mean, the guy has 20 years of experience.

And how can you not love judge Julien MacDonald? When he tells Monica that her ego is as big as her body, I actually winced. It was just so mean...he makes Simon Cowell look nice...but you know what? When Monica got all lippy with him, I loved his smart comeback: "Yes, well, I've actually made it in this business."









I fully realize how crazy this sounds, but I was a little disappointed the fire alarm was a false alarm.

How stupid is it that we have to sit here and wait for instructions before we can leave the building? Okay, maybe not that stupid. I mean, it could be a false alarm like it was a little bit earlier.

God, I just don't want to be at work today.

I can tell it's going to be one of "those" days.

You know how, in "The Secret" they talk about how you need to control your thoughts and turn them into positive ones instead of letting your bad mood just spiral out of control?

Yeah...well, that's not so easy when you feel like you could do with a couple more hours of sleep and you're just sick and tired of this place.

Great.

Another email popped up from N.

Labelling it a co-dependent friendship would be a misnomer since she's the one who doesn't seem to have any other friends except for me. Is there really something about me that attracts needy, dependent people into my life? What role do they serve in my life beyond making me want to become a hermit?

Okay, that's not true. I have no desire to be a hermit.
This Daylight Savings Time is seriously screwing with me.

Okay, it's just an hour, but you know what? Even though the time on my computer now says 8:25 a.m., I know it's really 7:25 a.m.

Oh, and my desk kind of smells -- as in, I got to work and discovered my lunch leaking and that taint of a food smell has now soaked its way into my makeup bag, which I promptly washed out.

Actually, I wiped down my whole desk with Lysol wipes right afterwards and then went crazy spritzing perfume in the problem areas.

And now, I can still smell it. Or...I think I can still detect a trace of it and I have to suppress the urge to surreptitiously sniff various surfaces like some bloodhound. Either that or get somebody else to stand in my desk area and see if there's anything weird smelling about it.

I have this thing about bad smells --- you'd be surprised at how many people don't have a thing about bad smells. But whether it's body odour, bad breath, dirty hair or just anything that indicates you don't bathe on a regular basis, I can't stand it. And the thought of smelling like that myself is one of my fears. (I won't say "greatest fear" because I made that mistake of declaring that bad breath was my greatest, all-time fear, and that just made me come off looking like some nut case.)

Great.

The fire alarm.

Monday, March 12, 2007

It seems you can be an attractive, successful actress and still feel like you're nowhere near where you thought you'd be in your life --- romantically-speaking that is.

I don't know if this makes me feel any better, though.

You just get to a point, you know, where you have to wonder, "When is it all going to change? When is that next stage in my life going to begin?"




NEW YORK (AP) - Kate Walsh has something in common with the sexy neonatal surgeon she plays on ABC's hit medical drama "Grey's Anatomy": love issues.

"Sometimes I feel like, 'What am I doing? Am I becoming my character, or is my character becoming me?' " she says in an interview in Best Life magazine's April issue. "I'm starting to get a little superstitious here. I definitely identify with my character in that, romantically at least, this is not where I thought I'd be at 39."


Okay, I have to admit that I was a little disappointed that the annoying Mirna and Charla managed to make it in seventh, beating out Rob and Amber on last night's "Amazing Race."

Say what you will about Rob and Amber but I thought they were extremely smart competitors (up until that moment where Rob misspells "Philippines" as "Phillipeans"...who doesn't know how to spell The Philippines???...well, obviously, Rob...) and I think the reason they got labelled "annoying" and "irritating" time and time again by fellow competitors and even by TV critics was because nobody really likes to see someone do too well.

We think it's unfair...which is such a stupid thing to think, 'cause really, whoever said that life was supposed to be fair, anyway?

What I thought was so incredibly stupid was when they got letters from fellow competitors from their original season and Rob opened a letter from mother-and-son team, Susan and Patrick, which went on to be this incredibly juvenile, insulting letter about how they really hoped that Rob and Amber were doing poorly, blah blah blah.



To Patrick and Susan:
You exhibit poor sportsmanship and taste. Your letter clearly displays you have no class and a startling inability to behave in a civil fashion. Just look at the letter Alabama wrote to the Beauty Queens --- and those two teams hated each other.

Really, there's nothing left to say except: shame on you.


I just really hope that Eric and Danielle don't win --- it'd be like the time that Freddy and Kendra won.

Sure, maybe Freddy deserved the million dollars after he ate his own barf, but Kendra? She's the epitome of every snobby, popular girl from back in high school.

As for Danielle...OMG. It's clear that Eric's really only with her because of those two gigantic flotation devices attached to her chest.

Now, that's a match made in...well, I don't know where.

I don't think they'll last.

I just think money in the hands of people sorel lacking in intelligence and taste is just such a waste.

Sunday, March 11, 2007

My former managing editor used to talk about how loudly he snored and why he thought separate bedrooms were a good idea.

At the time, I thought, "Isn't it really because your ex-wife couldn't stand having to wake up every goddamn morning only to look over at you and realize what a huge mistake she'd made?"

Yeah.

I hold grudges.

I'm the type of person who'll probably go to my grave hating certain people.

It's not really healthy.

I'm working on it.

Anyways, came across this New York Times article about separate bedrooms and I actually thought it was a good idea. Nevermind the fact that I'm currently not in a relationship.

I mean, I guess most people would just automatically assume that there's something wrong with the relationship if you're sleeping in separate bedrooms...but what if the other person snores or hogs the blankets or kicks or talks in their sleep or sleepwalks or...whatever?



March 11, 2007

To Have, Hold and Cherish, Until Bedtime

Not since the Victorian age of starched sheets and starchy manners, builders and architects say, have there been so many orders for separate bedrooms. Or separate sleeping nooks. Or his-and-her wings.

In interviews, couples and sociologists say that often it has nothing to do with sex. More likely, it has to do with snoring. Or with children crying. Or with getting up and heading for the gym at 5:30 in the morning. Or with sending e-mail messages until well after midnight.

In a survey in February by the National Association of Home Builders, builders and architects predicted that more than 60 percent of custom houses would have dual master bedrooms by 2015, according to Gopal Ahluwalia, staff vice president of research at the builders association. Some builders say more than a quarter of their new projects already do.

What could be called the home-sleeping-alone syndrome is not limited to the wealthy. For middle-income homeowners, it may be a matter of moving into a spare bedroom, the recreation room or the den. In St. Louis, Lana Pepper, a light sleeper who battled for years with her husband’s nocturnal restlessness, reconfigured the condominium they bought recently, adding walls to create separate bedrooms. Mrs. Pepper said the advantage to separate rooms was obvious: “My husband is still alive. I would have killed him.”

“It was more than snoring,” she said, recounting the bad old days of a shared bed. “He cannot have his feet tucked into any of the covers; I have to have them tucked in. So I took all the linens and split them with scissors. Then I finished the edge so that half of the sheet would tuck under and the other half he could kick out.”

That did not help his snoring, so she bought a white noise machine; she even went to a shooting range to buy “a pair of those big ear guards they wear.” They did not suit her.

According to the National Sleep Foundation in Washington, 75 percent of adults frequently either wake in the night or snore — and many have taken to separate beds just for those reasons. In a report issued Tuesday, the foundation found that more than half the women surveyed, ages 18 to 64, said they slept well only a few nights a week; 43 percent believed their lack of sleep interfered with the next day’s activities.

Stephanie Coontz, director of public education for the Council of Contemporary Families in Chicago, said many couples she interviewed were “confident enough that they have a nice marriage, but they don’t particularly like sleeping in the same room.”

“I don’t think it says anything about their sex lives,” Ms. Coontz said.

Mrs. Pepper, 60, who co-founded St. Louis’s annual Shakespeare festival, takes her sleeping seriously. On her nightstand is an arsenal of remote controls: for the adjustable bed, the television, the lights, the humidifier and the DVD player. Her mattress is made from a foam developed by NASA that rests in a four-poster frame under a skylight.

At Escala, a condominium project in Seattle, a quarter of the 270 units have double master bedrooms, said John Midby, a partner in the development. In St. Louis County, Dennis Hayden, president of Hayden Homes, said that each of the 30 detached homes in his latest planned community would have two separate-but-equal bedroom suites.

Kristen Scott, an architect in Seattle, said about one-third of her empty nester clients asked for separate bedrooms, which can cost a few thousand dollars to more than $100,000. In Honolulu, Nancy Peacock, an architect, said her clients increasingly requested “punees,” as daybeds are known in Hawaii — sometimes on the lanai, the covered porch of the house.

In St. Louis, Carol Wall, president of Mitchell Wall Architects, said that three or four years ago her company began “doing a lot of these little rooms off the master bedroom where the snorer would go.” More recently, couples, including some in their 30s, have started asking for two master suites, “and we don’t ask any questions,” Ms. Wall said.

Not everyone wants to talk about it. Many architects and designers say their clients believe there is still a stigma to sleeping separately. Some developers say it is a delicate issue and call the other bedroom a “flex suite” for when the in-laws visit or the children come home from college. Charles Brandt, an interior designer in St. Louis, said, “The builder knows, the architect knows, the cabinet maker knows, but it’s not something they like to advertise because right away people will think something is wrong” with the marriage.

An interior designer in Chicago moved into her son’s bedroom when he went off to college. “Separate bedrooms are de rigueur for us,” she said, adding that she and her husband sleep together on the weekends. The couple asked that their names not be published.

Fred Tobin, a builder in North Canton, Ohio, is friends of a prominent couple in Columbus whose house was remodeled with two master bedrooms. The wife sleeps on one side of the house, the husband on the other. “It’s a hush-hush thing,” Mr. Tobin said. “The husband travels a lot, all the time, and he comes home late, and he wants to be able to check his e-mail and go to bed without waking her up.”

The move to separate sleeping spaces is yet another manifestation of changing marital patterns.

“Couples today are writing their own script, rewriting how to have a marriage,” said Pamela J. Smock, a University of Michigan sociologist. “The growing need for separate bedrooms also represents the speed-up of family life — women’s roles have changed — and the need for extra space eases the strain on the relationship. If one of them snores, the other one won’t be able to perform the next day. It’s nothing to do with social class, and it’s not necessarily indicative of marital discord.”

Nevertheless, Professor Smock said husbands were less willing to change familiar patterns.

“Men are supposed to be one, dominant, and two, sexual,” she said. “Their wives might be thrilled to have their own bedroom, and see it as a romantic thing — going back to their romance, going back to dating, to intimacy, but the husband might not see it that way.

“As a social pattern, this could increase,” she continued. “A lot of people I know fantasize about living in the same apartment building as their husband — but in a separate apartment. That could be next.”

Paul C. Rosenblatt, a professor in the department of family and social science at the University of Minnesota, has studied couples who sleep separately, and wrote a book last year on the challenges and benefits, “Two in a Bed: The Social System of Couple Bed Sharing.” To him, a large part of the phenomenon has to do with aging. Many of those Professor Rosenblatt surveyed, like the Chicago couple, split into separate bedrooms when their children grew up.

“It’s suddenly available,” he said, “and if you have trouble sleeping you go into the kid’s room and find you slept better than with your partner.”

But some of the people he studies still want a place to cuddle. “In my research, couples had separate places for their sleeping arrangements but also had a together place,” he said. “Some do their cuddling before going their separate ways.”

Occasionally, the need to separate does have to do with sex. Professor Rosenblatt said one older woman he interviewed said she had her own bedroom because, “I’ve paid my dues. I’m old enough that I don’t want to have sex at 1 a.m.”

No matter what the reasons, architects and builders say they know enough not to call them “master” bedrooms anymore.

“Women are buying more homes, and women are sensitive to that terminology of the ‘master suite,’ and they’re opting for the term ‘owners’ suite,’ ” said Barbara Slavkin, an interior designer in St. Louis.

Dale Mulfinger, an architect in Minneapolis, said, “How about ‘couples’ realms’?”

Whatever you call them, they certainly seem to suit the Peppers, the St. Louis couple who reconfigured their new condominium to give them each a sleeping sanctuary.

Ted Pepper’s room, lined with a bank of windows that open onto a rooftop terrace, has none of the sleeping paraphernalia — the sound machine, the sleeping mask — found in his wife’s room. The only evidence of his sleep habits is the twisted knot of sheets and blankets on his bed.

“Now, there’s a demonstration,” said Mr. Pepper, 67, gesturing toward the swirl of bedding and chuckling. “She’d wake up if I moved even a little.”

The Peppers agree: separate bedrooms have added spice to their relationship. “It’s more exciting,” Mrs. Pepper said, “when you can say: ‘Your room or mine?’ ”

Reporting was contributed by Malcolm Gay in St. Louis, Christopher Maag in Cleveland, Claudia Rowe in Seattle and Katie Zezima in Boston.

Friday, March 09, 2007

Reconnected with an old friend from elementary school last night and it was like we'd just seen each other the day before. Sometimes, you meet up with someone from your past and it's weird and awkward, but the way we were talking a mile a minute, it was like we were still 12 years old.

Weird, huh?


Someone from Moorabin, Australia used to regularly visit my other journal. And then I stopped updating there for awhile because some guy would occassionally leave these annoying comments. Oh, and I kind of do that every now and again. Drop one blog, start another, or switch back and forth.

It's weird how you get used to seeing something...like that one line every day that says someone from Moorabin, Australia is reading your blog.

And then when it disappears, it's like, "Hmmm...I kinda miss that."


Normally, I hate forwards, but this one I found pretty funny:

Letter to Proctor & Gamble

Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always maxi pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the LeakGuard Core(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a menstrual period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from "the curse"? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my "time of the month" is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call "an inbred hillbilly with knife skills." Isn't the human body amazing?
As Brand Manager in the Feminine-hygiene Division, you've no doubt
seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from "Aunt Flo". Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying jags, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. In fact, only last week, my friend Jennifer fought the violent urge to shove her boyfriend's testicles into a George Foreman Grill just because he told her he thought Grey's Anatomy was written by drunken chimps. Crazy! The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: "Have a Happy Period."

Are you ***ing kidding me? What I mean is, does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness -is possible during a menstrual period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything "happy" about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Walgreen's armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory.

For the love of God, pull your head out, man! If you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like "Put Down the Hammer" or "Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong", or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective
immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull***. And that's a promise I will keep...

Always.

Best,
Wendi Aarons
Austin, TX

Thursday, March 08, 2007

You ever have one of those mornings where you just feel like...like you're not okay, but you can't put your finger on why you're not okay. It's not that you're sad or angry or irritated...you're just not happy.

Who knows? Maybe it's a bit of boredom, too...and maybe a touch of fear that maybe things will always stay the same and nothing will ever move forward.

See, the thing is, even though listening to those people on Oprah talk about "The Secret" was kind of inspiring, it just feels so bloody hard to lift yourself out of a blah mood and to stop yourself from thinking, "I don't want to do this. I don't want to be here."

I always think about that Gwyneth Paltrow movie, "Sylvia", and that one scene where she's talking to a friend and you can tell she's in this really bad place in her mind. It's just the way she talks, you know? That dull acceptance of how weary her life is...it's so different from just being depressed, because it's like this whole other layer of defeat.

I guess I'm not really making all that much sense right now.

I just have to keep telling myself that it's just one bad day...just one bad day to get through...

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Shit!!

I totally forgot that season two of Project Catwalk started last night on the Life Network...er, "Slice" as it's now called.

A quick check on YouTube reveals that it's actually on there! Yay!!!

You know, I don't really give a shit if Project Catwalk is a rip-off of Project Runway. I don't even care that Tim Gunn isn't in Project Catwalk --- when it comes down to it, if you love fashion, then you love this show.

I mean, dare I say it? I actually think Ben De Lisi is a fitting choice as mentor simply because he is a designer...whereas, Tim is not.

That's not to say I don't love him, but I think Ben's great as a mentor, too.

I totally cracked up when he shrieked in that New York accent, "She's not going to wear a dress with velcro! What is she? A stripper???"

Is it just me or does judge Julien MacDonald seem to have more hair this season? I mean, I could have sworn he had a bit of that male pattern baldness going on last season and I actually felt really bad for him because you could see his hair thinning out all over.

I mean, I don't think he'd be so tacky as to wear a wig...would he???

I don't like Kelly Osbourne as the new host. I thought Elizabeth Hurley had a lot more class and style. What does Kelly Osbourne know about fashion? If you're going to have a host for a show like this, at least choose someone who's in the business!

She looks like a little kid --- totally out of her league here with the hosting duties.

Though...I have to admit she looked adorable, all fresh-faced and with that cute blonde do when she had the designers choose their models.

I kind of miss Elizabeth Hurley's, "Fashion has no mercy" at the end of each show. Kelly has opted, instead, to say, "You are fashion's victim."

Okayyyyyyy.........

The first challenge was pretty interesting: designing an outfit for some socialite (someone I've never heard of, seeing as I'm Canadian and it seems like Canadians don't really have big name socialites...either that, or I'm completely in the dark about stuff like that) using the outfits they wore the night before.

God, she was a bitch, though, when she was making comments.

I'm glad Kelly chastized Julien when she said, "We're here to judge the outfits, not the models."









According to H, it's nothing but a game --- and a game that you have to wise up to.

I was telling him about my firm rule of not taking things past the third date if I don't see any potential in a person. What's the point, right? And it's only something I've wised up to in the last year or two.

I'm getting older and I don't want to waste my time anymore --- but at the same time, I don't want to let on that this is how I feel. I mean, it's just guaranteed to send a guy running for the hills, you know?

H was telling me about how he'll usually wait about a week before he calls up a girl again --- just to add a bit of mystery and to keep her guessing, he said.

"It's all a game," he kept teling me.

I understand that. I really do. C, apparently, doesn't. She claims she's been out of the game for so long that she doesn't know what the hell's going on anymore.

Like this "waiting game" that I insist on playing. She's afraid if I wait too long, I'll wind up missing out on a good thing.

But shouldn't you hold back and wait just a little when it comes to someone who's just recently come out of a relationship?

Sometimes, I really second guess myself. I'll think one thing and then think, "Maybe I'm wrong."

And then I think things to death.

Wrote an overly long email about it to my best friend last night.

Remember when there was all of that crap in the news about how people thought Oprah and her best friend Gayle were gay? I thought that was so stupid, but I think women have stronger bonds with each other than men do. I mean, we can be the cattiest bitches to each other, but at the same time, we can be the best of friends.

Anyways...it's always a little weird when something happens and she's not around for me to tell all of it to.

Life seems a little empty without a best friend in it.

Anyways, I discovered a really good blog yesterday. The writer had visited my other journal and in turn, I decided to check out her blog. It was really good, even though she'd only done two posts. It's all about dating and whatnot and I actually find myself relating to a lot of the things she says.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

So, according to AskMen.com, women give terrible relationship advice and men should perfect the art of blowing off a girl.

Great.

I don't know why I'm even reading this. It's just making me feel like, "You know what? Let's not bother with this. Future spinsterhood, here I come!"

I don't know...maybe they're onto something, though. Sometimes, when my female friends are giving me advice, I sort of feel like I can't really trust what they're saying.

Like Samantha on Sex and the City said to Carrie, "Honey, we're as fucked up as you are. It's like the blind leading the blind."

So far, what I've been doing is this: nothing. Okay. That's not true. I've been trying assess the situation. You don't want to chase after someone who's just gotten out of a relationship. But how long do you wait? And how do you carefully lay down the groundwork so that you're seen as someone they should seriously consider dating?

I don't know.

Here's the article:

Why Women Give Bad Dating Advice





Have you ever noticed that the worst advice you get about winning women over usually comes from women themselves? Women are famous for not knowing what they want.

They say they want a nice guy, but follow jerk-offs like lemmings. They say they want flowers, poems and gifts, but get turned off if the wrong guy sends them a birthday card.

Clearly, they don't understand their needs or their triggers.

Follow these hints and you'll soon learn to wade through the deluge of useless feminine advice to find the real nuggets of wisdom.

advice to make more friends

The female friends in your life will often tell you to lay all your feelings out on the table. "Tell her how you feel," "Be a nice guy" and "Don't sleep with her right away."

Their advice will get you more girl friends, but sadly, no bedmates.

They mean well, but truth be told, they're setting you up to look like a chump. Because when you play Mr. Nice Guy and open all her doors and sleep on the couch, you're not making a lover -- you're making a friend. And a boring one at that! Your female buddies might think they're helping you out, but they're really just sending another hapless calf off to slaughter.

even mom doesn't get it

"Just be yourself" sounds nice when mom says it, doesn't it? And we know she wants the best for us, but we need to a draw a distinction in this piece of advice. Don't just be yourself, please yourself. That means going after the woman you want and being open about your motives, with no apologies!

Simply "being" is not enough; you need to be a man of action. Mom can't give good advice until she lets go of her image of you as a "nice little boy."

ex-girlfriends suck

We have to be wary of the exes' "tips," as these characters will either tell you what you want to hear to get you to move on, or they'll wreck your chances of replacing them. Ex-girlfriends will tell you things like, "The harder you look, the less you find," and "Maybe you shouldn't date anyone for a while."

This is hardly any consolation to a depressed, horny guy. And I defy you to find me an ex-girlfriend who wants you to start dating a girl who is much hotter than she is. Your exes can't give good advice because their egos are involved.

Gurus suck, so you gotta make sure you know what women want...

female self-help gurus

A quick read through internet sites and self-help books reveals an unsettling trend: Following the advice of self-dubbed gurus actually weakens your power in the dating game. Many of these self-help coaches dish out tips like "Be more sensitive to her needs" and "Be romantic." Their advice seems to focus on men changing themselves to suit women's needs, all the while ignoring their own. Yeah, I don't think so. 

They'll tell you communication is more important than wealth or looks. But if you open up and give away all your desires, dreams and fears, don't expect your woman to hang around for too long. If you're not mysterious, you're no longer a challenge, and she will move on. 

One popular female dating coach tells men to fill in any awkward silences by delivering a compliment. Now come on; any experienced player knows to give compliments sparingly, if at all. You can't inflate their heads with insincere compliments just because you ran out of things to say. They have to earn the compliments. 

Another dating pundit advises men be to be decisive because indecisive men won't be able to handle a wife and family. Is it possible to raise the stakes any higher? Jeez, talk about pressure. 

And these experts say to always have plans on a date, forgetting that predictable men turn women off faster than The Clapper. The secret is to prepare for a date (such as making a reservation at a restaurant), but make it appear spontaneous and fun. 

The truth is that the "experts" can't get down and dirty because their loyalties are not to you, but to the women you are trying to chase. By sabotaging guys, they make life easier for the ladies. 

women's utter confusion

Sometimes you even muster up the courage to ask a girl what she wants, what attracts her and what turns her on. However, this straight-up approach usually gets you a less-than-straight answer. You might get a list of qualities, like "nice, romantic, generous, polite, listens more than he talks, financially secure, remembers birthdays, and appreciates the finer things"  -- qualities that have been glaringly absent in her last five boyfriends.

When women discuss what they want in a man, remember that they might not be fully aware of what really turns them on.

chuck bad female advice

Precious few females encourage men to snag women with a combination of cockiness and a biting sense of humor. Some of the better advice includes not needing to spend too much money on a date, and developing and exuding authentic confidence

The best dating advice women can give you is to be honest, assertive and respectful, but not to roll over and act like a wimp. Always hold a little something back.

If you heed bad female dating wisdom, you'll be a very confused and uncertain man. Don't be that guy. Women want challenging, confident, mystery-engulfed men. Unfortunately, they are often unwilling or unable to tell you. Or maybe they're unwilling to face it.
When K was quoting Charlotte from Sex and the City, I had a moment of, "Why does this still seem like we're in grade school?"

"It takes half the time you were together to get over someone," she said.

So what happens if the person was on-and-off with the person for over a year?

The Best Friend noted, "Guys tend to mentally check out of a relationship long before they actually end things."

You know...I think things were easier when he was still unavailable. Now that's he's recently single, I'm getting bombarded with this one question: "What are you going to do?"

Truthfully? I was going to do nothing.

I don't want to be anybody's rebound person.

And another thing is...when you've been burned and after all of this time, you're still a little bitter, still a little hurt, and still a little walking wounded, it's just really tough to want to hang your hopes on anything.

But maybe that's me.

In case you couldn't tell, I'm more than a little jaded and cynical.

Sometimes, I get this sense of, "Time is fleeting. Do something now. Do it before it's too late and this becomes something you regret." And other times, I think, "Well, what if he's not into me?"

Maybe I've read, "He's Just Not That Into You" one too many times.

Yes, that book is mostly common sense, but sometimes, reading those words of common sense just hammers something into you that's not really sticking.

The Best Friend has this theory: if a guy likes you, he'll let you know. Doesn't matter how shy he is. If he doesn't make any sort of move, he's just not that into you. Simple as that.

So, there's no point in trying to decode what a look or a comment or an email means because it means nothing. If a guy's interested, he will let you know in some shape or form.

There's no sense in trying to make excuses like, "He's just shy" or "Maybe he's afraid of rejection" or "I've been sending him mixed signals too."

Which, by the way, everybody says I have.

I don't know what's wrong with me, really.

You know what I don't like about myself? It's the fact that I think too much about these kinds of things...and then feel the need to analyze it to death. What's there to analyze? Nothing's happened.

Now that he's single, I'm so busy trying to play it cool, like I'm not interested, that I wind up looking totally disinterested.

One time, when I was talking with someone, he passed by and said hi and I completely ignored him.

*sigh*

Don't say it. I don't know what the fuck's wrong with me, either.

And what do you think about dating co-workers, anyway? Is it too messy to even contemplate? What if it doesn't work out?

Maybe I'm jumping too far ahead.

One thing a couple of friends have asked repeatedly is this: "What if you guys get together and you discover he's not who you thought he was?"

I don't know.

Right now, I feel like I'm just on the fence, sitting there, trying to decide if I should hop down and which direction I should go.

How's that for opening up in a post instead of writing about inane shit for a change?

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Five hours.

That's how much time I spent commuting back and forth to work throughout the snowstorm.

I still get pretty annoyed just thinking about it.

Since I wrote about what happened in Facebook, it's probably a good idea not to write aobut it here.

On another note...I did curl my hair today in an attempt to try and do something different with it. (It looks horrible, by the way. Mostly because I have that really straight Asian hair.)

Lately, I feel like I've been spending a little too much time thinking about a certain someone and I feel like I'm back in grade school, even though this has mostly been a slow burn where the more you get to know someone, the more you start thinking how great and wonderful they are.

And then...well, that's all you can really think about.

I don't know...the difference now is that...I actually feel hesitant to talk about things because...well, even though that's all I really ever want to talk about or think about, I do kind of realize that if things don't work out, I don't want to have to go around pretending I'm okay. Yeah, it's not the end of the world, but why does it feel like it is?

Maybe I shouldn't be thinking so negative.

Maybe that's my problem all along...I always expect things to fall apart and maybe that's why they do.

It's weird when you meet someone and you can just sense that this could be something...and that, if you didn't risk putting yourself out there, you'd regret it for the rest of your life.

It's been seven months since I first met him. And now, a part of me is thinking, "Isn't it time to stop worrying about all the what ifs? Just go for it."

Thursday, March 01, 2007

There's a blizzard brewing outside.

Okay. Maybe not so much a blizzard, but let's just say it's snowing really hard.

The other day, they were having this discussion on CFRB about how it's kind of sad that we turn the weather into big news, but when you're living in Canada, the weather kinda is big news, you know?

I'm debating whether I should just get up and leave now.

A part of me is paranoid that someone will say something...like I'll have to make up time or something. They're big on that here. Making up time...'cause if you leave early, you don't get paid unless you make up the time. Simple as that.

Pricks.

The other day, one of my friends said, "Well, you're just paranoid."

It kind of bugged me that this was how she viewed me. Though, to be perfectly fair, some of the things I say would logically lead someone into believing I'm paranoid.

Fuck it. I'm going to duck out early.
*sigh*

Why is it always the gross ones?

Okay, according to "The Secret", if you keep focusing on stuff like that, then more gross guys will come into your life. Remember: think positively. (That's actually hard work, 'cause I catch myself thinking, "Oh, there I go again. If you think life's crap, then you're just going to get more crap flying into your face.")

Anyway, discovered that The Great Unwashed One might have a crush on me.

I'm not exaggerating when I call him "The Great Unwashed One." What grown man doesn't shower everyday? And hey, buddy, laughing over the fact that you have bath days (and not as in, "Every other day is a shower day") is something you might not want to advertise or be proud of. People, in general, find that kind of thing gross.

Why do some people think it's "mean" when I say, "Ew, gross" because I don't like someone. So...what? If you think someone's disgusting, you're not supposed to say anything mean about them at all? Okay. Okay. I know what you're thinking: if you've got nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all.

Yeah...I don't work that way. I have no filter sometimes. I will usually say what's on my mind. And what's worse is that everything I'm thinking usually plays out across my face.

That's why Jim Halpert on "The Office" reminds me of me.

Blogarama - The Blog Directory Link With Us - Web DirectoryBlogfuse Blog DirectoryWhy Women Give Bad Dating Advice



Have you ever noticed that the worst advice you get about winning women over usually comes from women themselves? Women are famous for not knowing what they want.

They say they want a nice guy, but follow jerk-offs like lemmings. They say they want flowers, poems and gifts, but get turned off if the wrong guy sends them a birthday card.

Clearly, they don't understand their needs or their triggers.

Follow these hints and you'll soon learn to wade through the deluge of useless feminine advice to find the real nuggets of wisdom.

advice to make more friends

The female friends in your life will often tell you to lay all your feelings out on the table. "Tell her how you feel," "Be a nice guy" and "Don't sleep with her right away."

Their advice will get you more girl friends, but sadly, no bedmates.

They mean well, but truth be told, they're setting you up to look like a chump. Because when you play Mr. Nice Guy and open all her doors and sleep on the couch, you're not making a lover -- you're making a friend. And a boring one at that! Your female buddies might think they're helping you out, but they're really just sending another hapless calf off to slaughter.

even mom doesn't get it

"Just be yourself" sounds nice when mom says it, doesn't it? And we know she wants the best for us, but we need to a draw a distinction in this piece of advice. Don't just be yourself, please yourself. That means going after the woman you want and being open about your motives, with no apologies!

Simply "being" is not enough; you need to be a man of action. Mom can't give good advice until she lets go of her image of you as a "nice little boy."

ex-girlfriends suck

We have to be wary of the exes' "tips," as these characters will either tell you what you want to hear to get you to move on, or they'll wreck your chances of replacing them. Ex-girlfriends will tell you things like, "The harder you look, the less you find," and "Maybe you shouldn't date anyone for a while."

This is hardly any consolation to a depressed, horny guy. And I defy you to find me an ex-girlfriend who wants you to start dating a girl who is much hotter than she is. Your exes can't give good advice because their egos are involved.

Gurus suck, so you gotta make sure you know what women want...

female self-help gurus

A quick read through internet sites and self-help books reveals an unsettling trend: Following the advice of self-dubbed gurus actually weakens your power in the dating game. Many of these self-help coaches dish out tips like "Be more sensitive to her needs" and "Be romantic." Their advice seems to focus on men changing themselves to suit women's needs, all the while ignoring their own. Yeah, I don't think so. 

They'll tell you communication is more important than wealth or looks. But if you open up and give away all your desires, dreams and fears, don't expect your woman to hang around for too long. If you're not mysterious, you're no longer a challenge, and she will move on. 

One popular female dating coach tells men to fill in any awkward silences by delivering a compliment. Now come on; any experienced player knows to give compliments sparingly, if at all. You can't inflate their heads with insincere compliments just because you ran out of things to say. They have to earn the compliments. 

Another dating pundit advises men be to be decisive because indecisive men won't be able to handle a wife and family. Is it possible to raise the stakes any higher? Jeez, talk about pressure. 

And these experts say to always have plans on a date, forgetting that predictable men turn women off faster than The Clapper. The secret is to prepare for a date (such as making a reservation at a restaurant), but make it appear spontaneous and fun. 

The truth is that the "experts" can't get down and dirty because their loyalties are not to you, but to the women you are trying to chase. By sabotaging guys, they make life easier for the ladies. 

women's utter confusion

Sometimes you even muster up the courage to ask a girl what she wants, what attracts her and what turns her on. However, this straight-up approach usually gets you a less-than-straight answer. You might get a list of qualities, like "nice, romantic, generous, polite, listens more than he talks, financially secure, remembers birthdays, and appreciates the finer things"  -- qualities that have been glaringly absent in her last five boyfriends.

When women discuss what they want in a man, remember that they might not be fully aware of what really turns them on.

chuck bad female advice

Precious few females encourage men to snag women with a combination of cockiness and a biting sense of humor. Some of the better advice includes not needing to spend too much money on a date, and developing and exuding authentic confidence

The best dating advice women can give you is to be honest, assertive and respectful, but not to roll over and act like a wimp. Always hold a little something back.

If you heed bad female dating wisdom, you'll be a very confused and uncertain man. Don't be that guy. Women want challenging, confident, mystery-engulfed men. Unfortunately, they are often unwilling or unable to tell you. Or maybe they're unwilling to face it.
|W|P|346209876668943040|W|P||W|P|anonymouswriter78@gmail.com3/04/2007 08:08:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Writer|W|P|When K was quoting Charlotte from Sex and the City, I had a moment of, "Why does this still seem like we're in grade school?"

"It takes half the time you were together to get over someone," she said.

So what happens if the person was on-and-off with the person for over a year?

The Best Friend noted, "Guys tend to mentally check out of a relationship long before they actually end things."

You know...I think things were easier when he was still unavailable. Now that's he's recently single, I'm getting bombarded with this one question: "What are you going to do?"

Truthfully? I was going to do nothing.

I don't want to be anybody's rebound person.

And another thing is...when you've been burned and after all of this time, you're still a little bitter, still a little hurt, and still a little walking wounded, it's just really tough to want to hang your hopes on anything.

But maybe that's me.

In case you couldn't tell, I'm more than a little jaded and cynical.

Sometimes, I get this sense of, "Time is fleeting. Do something now. Do it before it's too late and this becomes something you regret." And other times, I think, "Well, what if he's not into me?"

Maybe I've read, "He's Just Not That Into You" one too many times.

Yes, that book is mostly common sense, but sometimes, reading those words of common sense just hammers something into you that's not really sticking.

The Best Friend has this theory: if a guy likes you, he'll let you know. Doesn't matter how shy he is. If he doesn't make any sort of move, he's just not that into you. Simple as that.

So, there's no point in trying to decode what a look or a comment or an email means because it means nothing. If a guy's interested, he will let you know in some shape or form.

There's no sense in trying to make excuses like, "He's just shy" or "Maybe he's afraid of rejection" or "I've been sending him mixed signals too."

Which, by the way, everybody says I have.

I don't know what's wrong with me, really.

You know what I don't like about myself? It's the fact that I think too much about these kinds of things...and then feel the need to analyze it to death. What's there to analyze? Nothing's happened.

Now that he's single, I'm so busy trying to play it cool, like I'm not interested, that I wind up looking totally disinterested.

One time, when I was talking with someone, he passed by and said hi and I completely ignored him.

*sigh*

Don't say it. I don't know what the fuck's wrong with me, either.

And what do you think about dating co-workers, anyway? Is it too messy to even contemplate? What if it doesn't work out?

Maybe I'm jumping too far ahead.

One thing a couple of friends have asked repeatedly is this: "What if you guys get together and you discover he's not who you thought he was?"

I don't know.

Right now, I feel like I'm just on the fence, sitting there, trying to decide if I should hop down and which direction I should go.

How's that for opening up in a post instead of writing about inane shit for a change?|W|P|5663769613288208046|W|P||W|P|anonymouswriter78@gmail.com3/03/2007 11:57:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Writer|W|P|Five hours.

That's how much time I spent commuting back and forth to work throughout the snowstorm.

I still get pretty annoyed just thinking about it.

Since I wrote about what happened in Facebook, it's probably a good idea not to write aobut it here.

On another note...I did curl my hair today in an attempt to try and do something different with it. (It looks horrible, by the way. Mostly because I have that really straight Asian hair.)

Lately, I feel like I've been spending a little too much time thinking about a certain someone and I feel like I'm back in grade school, even though this has mostly been a slow burn where the more you get to know someone, the more you start thinking how great and wonderful they are.

And then...well, that's all you can really think about.

I don't know...the difference now is that...I actually feel hesitant to talk about things because...well, even though that's all I really ever want to talk about or think about, I do kind of realize that if things don't work out, I don't want to have to go around pretending I'm okay. Yeah, it's not the end of the world, but why does it feel like it is?

Maybe I shouldn't be thinking so negative.

Maybe that's my problem all along...I always expect things to fall apart and maybe that's why they do.

It's weird when you meet someone and you can just sense that this could be something...and that, if you didn't risk putting yourself out there, you'd regret it for the rest of your life.

It's been seven months since I first met him. And now, a part of me is thinking, "Isn't it time to stop worrying about all the what ifs? Just go for it."|W|P|1870787325992225747|W|P||W|P|anonymouswriter78@gmail.com3/01/2007 01:27:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Writer|W|P|There's a blizzard brewing outside.

Okay. Maybe not so much a blizzard, but let's just say it's snowing really hard.

The other day, they were having this discussion on CFRB about how it's kind of sad that we turn the weather into big news, but when you're living in Canada, the weather kinda is big news, you know?

I'm debating whether I should just get up and leave now.

A part of me is paranoid that someone will say something...like I'll have to make up time or something. They're big on that here. Making up time...'cause if you leave early, you don't get paid unless you make up the time. Simple as that.

Pricks.

The other day, one of my friends said, "Well, you're just paranoid."

It kind of bugged me that this was how she viewed me. Though, to be perfectly fair, some of the things I say would logically lead someone into believing I'm paranoid.

Fuck it. I'm going to duck out early.|W|P|884345473137783753|W|P||W|P|anonymouswriter78@gmail.com3/01/2007 09:55:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Writer|W|P|*sigh*

Why is it always the gross ones?

Okay, according to "The Secret", if you keep focusing on stuff like that, then more gross guys will come into your life. Remember: think positively. (That's actually hard work, 'cause I catch myself thinking, "Oh, there I go again. If you think life's crap, then you're just going to get more crap flying into your face.")

Anyway, discovered that The Great Unwashed One might have a crush on me.

I'm not exaggerating when I call him "The Great Unwashed One." What grown man doesn't shower everyday? And hey, buddy, laughing over the fact that you have bath days (and not as in, "Every other day is a shower day") is something you might not want to advertise or be proud of. People, in general, find that kind of thing gross.

Why do some people think it's "mean" when I say, "Ew, gross" because I don't like someone. So...what? If you think someone's disgusting, you're not supposed to say anything mean about them at all? Okay. Okay. I know what you're thinking: if you've got nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all.

Yeah...I don't work that way. I have no filter sometimes. I will usually say what's on my mind. And what's worse is that everything I'm thinking usually plays out across my face.

That's why Jim Halpert on "The Office" reminds me of me.

|W|P|4133269091044517775|W|P||W|P|anonymouswriter78@gmail.com-->Why Women Give Bad Dating Advice



Have you ever noticed that the worst advice you get about winning women over usually comes from women themselves? Women are famous for not knowing what they want.

They say they want a nice guy, but follow jerk-offs like lemmings. They say they want flowers, poems and gifts, but get turned off if the wrong guy sends them a birthday card.

Clearly, they don't understand their needs or their triggers.

Follow these hints and you'll soon learn to wade through the deluge of useless feminine advice to find the real nuggets of wisdom.

advice to make more friends

The female friends in your life will often tell you to lay all your feelings out on the table. "Tell her how you feel," "Be a nice guy" and "Don't sleep with her right away."

Their advice will get you more girl friends, but sadly, no bedmates.

They mean well, but truth be told, they're setting you up to look like a chump. Because when you play Mr. Nice Guy and open all her doors and sleep on the couch, you're not making a lover -- you're making a friend. And a boring one at that! Your female buddies might think they're helping you out, but they're really just sending another hapless calf off to slaughter.

even mom doesn't get it

"Just be yourself" sounds nice when mom says it, doesn't it? And we know she wants the best for us, but we need to a draw a distinction in this piece of advice. Don't just be yourself, please yourself. That means going after the woman you want and being open about your motives, with no apologies!

Simply "being" is not enough; you need to be a man of action. Mom can't give good advice until she lets go of her image of you as a "nice little boy."

ex-girlfriends suck

We have to be wary of the exes' "tips," as these characters will either tell you what you want to hear to get you to move on, or they'll wreck your chances of replacing them. Ex-girlfriends will tell you things like, "The harder you look, the less you find," and "Maybe you shouldn't date anyone for a while."

This is hardly any consolation to a depressed, horny guy. And I defy you to find me an ex-girlfriend who wants you to start dating a girl who is much hotter than she is. Your exes can't give good advice because their egos are involved.

Gurus suck, so you gotta make sure you know what women want...

female self-help gurus

A quick read through internet sites and self-help books reveals an unsettling trend: Following the advice of self-dubbed gurus actually weakens your power in the dating game. Many of these self-help coaches dish out tips like "Be more sensitive to her needs" and "Be romantic." Their advice seems to focus on men changing themselves to suit women's needs, all the while ignoring their own. Yeah, I don't think so. 

They'll tell you communication is more important than wealth or looks. But if you open up and give away all your desires, dreams and fears, don't expect your woman to hang around for too long. If you're not mysterious, you're no longer a challenge, and she will move on. 

One popular female dating coach tells men to fill in any awkward silences by delivering a compliment. Now come on; any experienced player knows to give compliments sparingly, if at all. You can't inflate their heads with insincere compliments just because you ran out of things to say. They have to earn the compliments. 

Another dating pundit advises men be to be decisive because indecisive men won't be able to handle a wife and family. Is it possible to raise the stakes any higher? Jeez, talk about pressure. 

And these experts say to always have plans on a date, forgetting that predictable men turn women off faster than The Clapper. The secret is to prepare for a date (such as making a reservation at a restaurant), but make it appear spontaneous and fun. 

The truth is that the "experts" can't get down and dirty because their loyalties are not to you, but to the women you are trying to chase. By sabotaging guys, they make life easier for the ladies. 

women's utter confusion

Sometimes you even muster up the courage to ask a girl what she wants, what attracts her and what turns her on. However, this straight-up approach usually gets you a less-than-straight answer. You might get a list of qualities, like "nice, romantic, generous, polite, listens more than he talks, financially secure, remembers birthdays, and appreciates the finer things"  -- qualities that have been glaringly absent in her last five boyfriends.

When women discuss what they want in a man, remember that they might not be fully aware of what really turns them on.

chuck bad female advice

Precious few females encourage men to snag women with a combination of cockiness and a biting sense of humor. Some of the better advice includes not needing to spend too much money on a date, and developing and exuding authentic confidence

The best dating advice women can give you is to be honest, assertive and respectful, but not to roll over and act like a wimp. Always hold a little something back.

If you heed bad female dating wisdom, you'll be a very confused and uncertain man. Don't be that guy. Women want challenging, confident, mystery-engulfed men. Unfortunately, they are often unwilling or unable to tell you. Or maybe they're unwilling to face it.
|W|P|346209876668943040|W|P||W|P|anonymouswriter78@gmail.com3/04/2007 08:08:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Writer|W|P|When K was quoting Charlotte from Sex and the City, I had a moment of, "Why does this still seem like we're in grade school?"

"It takes half the time you were together to get over someone," she said.

So what happens if the person was on-and-off with the person for over a year?

The Best Friend noted, "Guys tend to mentally check out of a relationship long before they actually end things."

You know...I think things were easier when he was still unavailable. Now that's he's recently single, I'm getting bombarded with this one question: "What are you going to do?"

Truthfully? I was going to do nothing.

I don't want to be anybody's rebound person.

And another thing is...when you've been burned and after all of this time, you're still a little bitter, still a little hurt, and still a little walking wounded, it's just really tough to want to hang your hopes on anything.

But maybe that's me.

In case you couldn't tell, I'm more than a little jaded and cynical.

Sometimes, I get this sense of, "Time is fleeting. Do something now. Do it before it's too late and this becomes something you regret." And other times, I think, "Well, what if he's not into me?"

Maybe I've read, "He's Just Not That Into You" one too many times.

Yes, that book is mostly common sense, but sometimes, reading those words of common sense just hammers something into you that's not really sticking.

The Best Friend has this theory: if a guy likes you, he'll let you know. Doesn't matter how shy he is. If he doesn't make any sort of move, he's just not that into you. Simple as that.

So, there's no point in trying to decode what a look or a comment or an email means because it means nothing. If a guy's interested, he will let you know in some shape or form.

There's no sense in trying to make excuses like, "He's just shy" or "Maybe he's afraid of rejection" or "I've been sending him mixed signals too."

Which, by the way, everybody says I have.

I don't know what's wrong with me, really.

You know what I don't like about myself? It's the fact that I think too much about these kinds of things...and then feel the need to analyze it to death. What's there to analyze? Nothing's happened.

Now that he's single, I'm so busy trying to play it cool, like I'm not interested, that I wind up looking totally disinterested.

One time, when I was talking with someone, he passed by and said hi and I completely ignored him.

*sigh*

Don't say it. I don't know what the fuck's wrong with me, either.

And what do you think about dating co-workers, anyway? Is it too messy to even contemplate? What if it doesn't work out?

Maybe I'm jumping too far ahead.

One thing a couple of friends have asked repeatedly is this: "What if you guys get together and you discover he's not who you thought he was?"

I don't know.

Right now, I feel like I'm just on the fence, sitting there, trying to decide if I should hop down and which direction I should go.

How's that for opening up in a post instead of writing about inane shit for a change?|W|P|5663769613288208046|W|P||W|P|anonymouswriter78@gmail.com3/03/2007 11:57:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Writer|W|P|Five hours.

That's how much time I spent commuting back and forth to work throughout the snowstorm.

I still get pretty annoyed just thinking about it.

Since I wrote about what happened in Facebook, it's probably a good idea not to write aobut it here.

On another note...I did curl my hair today in an attempt to try and do something different with it. (It looks horrible, by the way. Mostly because I have that really straight Asian hair.)

Lately, I feel like I've been spending a little too much time thinking about a certain someone and I feel like I'm back in grade school, even though this has mostly been a slow burn where the more you get to know someone, the more you start thinking how great and wonderful they are.

And then...well, that's all you can really think about.

I don't know...the difference now is that...I actually feel hesitant to talk about things because...well, even though that's all I really ever want to talk about or think about, I do kind of realize that if things don't work out, I don't want to have to go around pretending I'm okay. Yeah, it's not the end of the world, but why does it feel like it is?

Maybe I shouldn't be thinking so negative.

Maybe that's my problem all along...I always expect things to fall apart and maybe that's why they do.

It's weird when you meet someone and you can just sense that this could be something...and that, if you didn't risk putting yourself out there, you'd regret it for the rest of your life.

It's been seven months since I first met him. And now, a part of me is thinking, "Isn't it time to stop worrying about all the what ifs? Just go for it."|W|P|1870787325992225747|W|P||W|P|anonymouswriter78@gmail.com3/01/2007 01:27:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Writer|W|P|There's a blizzard brewing outside.

Okay. Maybe not so much a blizzard, but let's just say it's snowing really hard.

The other day, they were having this discussion on CFRB about how it's kind of sad that we turn the weather into big news, but when you're living in Canada, the weather kinda is big news, you know?

I'm debating whether I should just get up and leave now.

A part of me is paranoid that someone will say something...like I'll have to make up time or something. They're big on that here. Making up time...'cause if you leave early, you don't get paid unless you make up the time. Simple as that.

Pricks.

The other day, one of my friends said, "Well, you're just paranoid."

It kind of bugged me that this was how she viewed me. Though, to be perfectly fair, some of the things I say would logically lead someone into believing I'm paranoid.

Fuck it. I'm going to duck out early.|W|P|884345473137783753|W|P||W|P|anonymouswriter78@gmail.com3/01/2007 09:55:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Writer|W|P|*sigh*

Why is it always the gross ones?

Okay, according to "The Secret", if you keep focusing on stuff like that, then more gross guys will come into your life. Remember: think positively. (That's actually hard work, 'cause I catch myself thinking, "Oh, there I go again. If you think life's crap, then you're just going to get more crap flying into your face.")

Anyway, discovered that The Great Unwashed One might have a crush on me.

I'm not exaggerating when I call him "The Great Unwashed One." What grown man doesn't shower everyday? And hey, buddy, laughing over the fact that you have bath days (and not as in, "Every other day is a shower day") is something you might not want to advertise or be proud of. People, in general, find that kind of thing gross.

Why do some people think it's "mean" when I say, "Ew, gross" because I don't like someone. So...what? If you think someone's disgusting, you're not supposed to say anything mean about them at all? Okay. Okay. I know what you're thinking: if you've got nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all.

Yeah...I don't work that way. I have no filter sometimes. I will usually say what's on my mind. And what's worse is that everything I'm thinking usually plays out across my face.

That's why Jim Halpert on "The Office" reminds me of me.

|W|P|4133269091044517775|W|P||W|P|anonymouswriter78@gmail.com-->Why Women Give Bad Dating Advice



Have you ever noticed that the worst advice you get about winning women over usually comes from women themselves? Women are famous for not knowing what they want.

They say they want a nice guy, but follow jerk-offs like lemmings. They say they want flowers, poems and gifts, but get turned off if the wrong guy sends them a birthday card.

Clearly, they don't understand their needs or their triggers.

Follow these hints and you'll soon learn to wade through the deluge of useless feminine advice to find the real nuggets of wisdom.

advice to make more friends

The female friends in your life will often tell you to lay all your feelings out on the table. "Tell her how you feel," "Be a nice guy" and "Don't sleep with her right away."

Their advice will get you more girl friends, but sadly, no bedmates.

They mean well, but truth be told, they're setting you up to look like a chump. Because when you play Mr. Nice Guy and open all her doors and sleep on the couch, you're not making a lover -- you're making a friend. And a boring one at that! Your female buddies might think they're helping you out, but they're really just sending another hapless calf off to slaughter.

even mom doesn't get it

"Just be yourself" sounds nice when mom says it, doesn't it? And we know she wants the best for us, but we need to a draw a distinction in this piece of advice. Don't just be yourself, please yourself. That means going after the woman you want and being open about your motives, with no apologies!

Simply "being" is not enough; you need to be a man of action. Mom can't give good advice until she lets go of her image of you as a "nice little boy."

ex-girlfriends suck

We have to be wary of the exes' "tips," as these characters will either tell you what you want to hear to get you to move on, or they'll wreck your chances of replacing them. Ex-girlfriends will tell you things like, "The harder you look, the less you find," and "Maybe you shouldn't date anyone for a while."

This is hardly any consolation to a depressed, horny guy. And I defy you to find me an ex-girlfriend who wants you to start dating a girl who is much hotter than she is. Your exes can't give good advice because their egos are involved.

Gurus suck, so you gotta make sure you know what women want...

female self-help gurus

A quick read through internet sites and self-help books reveals an unsettling trend: Following the advice of self-dubbed gurus actually weakens your power in the dating game. Many of these self-help coaches dish out tips like "Be more sensitive to her needs" and "Be romantic." Their advice seems to focus on men changing themselves to suit women's needs, all the while ignoring their own. Yeah, I don't think so. 

They'll tell you communication is more important than wealth or looks. But if you open up and give away all your desires, dreams and fears, don't expect your woman to hang around for too long. If you're not mysterious, you're no longer a challenge, and she will move on. 

One popular female dating coach tells men to fill in any awkward silences by delivering a compliment. Now come on; any experienced player knows to give compliments sparingly, if at all. You can't inflate their heads with insincere compliments just because you ran out of things to say. They have to earn the compliments. 

Another dating pundit advises men be to be decisive because indecisive men won't be able to handle a wife and family. Is it possible to raise the stakes any higher? Jeez, talk about pressure. 

And these experts say to always have plans on a date, forgetting that predictable men turn women off faster than The Clapper. The secret is to prepare for a date (such as making a reservation at a restaurant), but make it appear spontaneous and fun. 

The truth is that the "experts" can't get down and dirty because their loyalties are not to you, but to the women you are trying to chase. By sabotaging guys, they make life easier for the ladies. 

women's utter confusion

Sometimes you even muster up the courage to ask a girl what she wants, what attracts her and what turns her on. However, this straight-up approach usually gets you a less-than-straight answer. You might get a list of qualities, like "nice, romantic, generous, polite, listens more than he talks, financially secure, remembers birthdays, and appreciates the finer things"  -- qualities that have been glaringly absent in her last five boyfriends.

When women discuss what they want in a man, remember that they might not be fully aware of what really turns them on.

chuck bad female advice

Precious few females encourage men to snag women with a combination of cockiness and a biting sense of humor. Some of the better advice includes not needing to spend too much money on a date, and developing and exuding authentic confidence

The best dating advice women can give you is to be honest, assertive and respectful, but not to roll over and act like a wimp. Always hold a little something back.

If you heed bad female dating wisdom, you'll be a very confused and uncertain man. Don't be that guy. Women want challenging, confident, mystery-engulfed men. Unfortunately, they are often unwilling or unable to tell you. Or maybe they're unwilling to face it.
|W|P|346209876668943040|W|P||W|P|anonymouswriter78@gmail.com3/04/2007 08:08:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Writer|W|P|When K was quoting Charlotte from Sex and the City, I had a moment of, "Why does this still seem like we're in grade school?"

"It takes half the time you were together to get over someone," she said.

So what happens if the person was on-and-off with the person for over a year?

The Best Friend noted, "Guys tend to mentally check out of a relationship long before they actually end things."

You know...I think things were easier when he was still unavailable. Now that's he's recently single, I'm getting bombarded with this one question: "What are you going to do?"

Truthfully? I was going to do nothing.

I don't want to be anybody's rebound person.

And another thing is...when you've been burned and after all of this time, you're still a little bitter, still a little hurt, and still a little walking wounded, it's just really tough to want to hang your hopes on anything.

But maybe that's me.

In case you couldn't tell, I'm more than a little jaded and cynical.

Sometimes, I get this sense of, "Time is fleeting. Do something now. Do it before it's too late and this becomes something you regret." And other times, I think, "Well, what if he's not into me?"

Maybe I've read, "He's Just Not That Into You" one too many times.

Yes, that book is mostly common sense, but sometimes, reading those words of common sense just hammers something into you that's not really sticking.

The Best Friend has this theory: if a guy likes you, he'll let you know. Doesn't matter how shy he is. If he doesn't make any sort of move, he's just not that into you. Simple as that.

So, there's no point in trying to decode what a look or a comment or an email means because it means nothing. If a guy's interested, he will let you know in some shape or form.

There's no sense in trying to make excuses like, "He's just shy" or "Maybe he's afraid of rejection" or "I've been sending him mixed signals too."

Which, by the way, everybody says I have.

I don't know what's wrong with me, really.

You know what I don't like about myself? It's the fact that I think too much about these kinds of things...and then feel the need to analyze it to death. What's there to analyze? Nothing's happened.

Now that he's single, I'm so busy trying to play it cool, like I'm not interested, that I wind up looking totally disinterested.

One time, when I was talking with someone, he passed by and said hi and I completely ignored him.

*sigh*

Don't say it. I don't know what the fuck's wrong with me, either.

And what do you think about dating co-workers, anyway? Is it too messy to even contemplate? What if it doesn't work out?

Maybe I'm jumping too far ahead.

One thing a couple of friends have asked repeatedly is this: "What if you guys get together and you discover he's not who you thought he was?"

I don't know.

Right now, I feel like I'm just on the fence, sitting there, trying to decide if I should hop down and which direction I should go.

How's that for opening up in a post instead of writing about inane shit for a change?|W|P|5663769613288208046|W|P||W|P|anonymouswriter78@gmail.com3/03/2007 11:57:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Writer|W|P|Five hours.

That's how much time I spent commuting back and forth to work throughout the snowstorm.

I still get pretty annoyed just thinking about it.

Since I wrote about what happened in Facebook, it's probably a good idea not to write aobut it here.

On another note...I did curl my hair today in an attempt to try and do something different with it. (It looks horrible, by the way. Mostly because I have that really straight Asian hair.)

Lately, I feel like I've been spending a little too much time thinking about a certain someone and I feel like I'm back in grade school, even though this has mostly been a slow burn where the more you get to know someone, the more you start thinking how great and wonderful they are.

And then...well, that's all you can really think about.

I don't know...the difference now is that...I actually feel hesitant to talk about things because...well, even though that's all I really ever want to talk about or think about, I do kind of realize that if things don't work out, I don't want to have to go around pretending I'm okay. Yeah, it's not the end of the world, but why does it feel like it is?

Maybe I shouldn't be thinking so negative.

Maybe that's my problem all along...I always expect things to fall apart and maybe that's why they do.

It's weird when you meet someone and you can just sense that this could be something...and that, if you didn't risk putting yourself out there, you'd regret it for the rest of your life.

It's been seven months since I first met him. And now, a part of me is thinking, "Isn't it time to stop worrying about all the what ifs? Just go for it."|W|P|1870787325992225747|W|P||W|P|anonymouswriter78@gmail.com3/01/2007 01:27:00 PM|W|P|Anonymous Writer|W|P|There's a blizzard brewing outside.

Okay. Maybe not so much a blizzard, but let's just say it's snowing really hard.

The other day, they were having this discussion on CFRB about how it's kind of sad that we turn the weather into big news, but when you're living in Canada, the weather kinda is big news, you know?

I'm debating whether I should just get up and leave now.

A part of me is paranoid that someone will say something...like I'll have to make up time or something. They're big on that here. Making up time...'cause if you leave early, you don't get paid unless you make up the time. Simple as that.

Pricks.

The other day, one of my friends said, "Well, you're just paranoid."

It kind of bugged me that this was how she viewed me. Though, to be perfectly fair, some of the things I say would logically lead someone into believing I'm paranoid.

Fuck it. I'm going to duck out early.|W|P|884345473137783753|W|P||W|P|anonymouswriter78@gmail.com3/01/2007 09:55:00 AM|W|P|Anonymous Writer|W|P|*sigh*

Why is it always the gross ones?

Okay, according to "The Secret", if you keep focusing on stuff like that, then more gross guys will come into your life. Remember: think positively. (That's actually hard work, 'cause I catch myself thinking, "Oh, there I go again. If you think life's crap, then you're just going to get more crap flying into your face.")

Anyway, discovered that The Great Unwashed One might have a crush on me.

I'm not exaggerating when I call him "The Great Unwashed One." What grown man doesn't shower everyday? And hey, buddy, laughing over the fact that you have bath days (and not as in, "Every other day is a shower day") is something you might not want to advertise or be proud of. People, in general, find that kind of thing gross.

Why do some people think it's "mean" when I say, "Ew, gross" because I don't like someone. So...what? If you think someone's disgusting, you're not supposed to say anything mean about them at all? Okay. Okay. I know what you're thinking: if you've got nothing nice to say then don't say anything at all.

Yeah...I don't work that way. I have no filter sometimes. I will usually say what's on my mind. And what's worse is that everything I'm thinking usually plays out across my face.

That's why Jim Halpert on "The Office" reminds me of me.

|W|P|4133269091044517775|W|P||W|P|anonymouswriter78@gmail.com-->