Adriana Iliescu

Just because you want something really badly doesn't necessarily mean it's okay for you to have it.

Take 66-year-old Adriana Illiescu, for example. The Romanian woman gave birth to a premature girl in Bucharest after undergoing fertility treatments for nine years. And this week, Illiescu beat out Satyabhama Mahapatra, of India, who gave birth to a boy at the age of 65 in 2003 after being impregnated by an egg donated by her 26-year-old niece.

I understand the desire to have children --- really, I do. But it makes me incredibly sad to think of all the children born into this world who are unwanted or who've lost their parents and who need loving people to take them into their homes and care for them.

Actually, it really pisses me off to think about it --- about kids in overcrowded orphanages in some of the poorest regions in the world, who've done nothing to deserve all the suffering that they have to go through; no kid should have to grow up like that, yet, it happens.

And I just can't understand why people who are so desperate to have children would rather go through fertility treatments --- with the knowledge that it's not always successful --- than adopt.

Okay --- I get it. Not everyone has a big enough heart to love someone who's not their own. As the old saying goes: blood is thicker than water. But I can't help but think...it's the people who can love without restraint who really deserve to be parents. After all, if you desperately want children, you should adopt. And if you can't love a child who's not your own flesh and blood, then maybe you don't want children as badly as you think you do.

Personally? I think that people like Iliescu and Mahapatra are selfish and irresponsible for bringing children into this world; it's no better than a child of 14 deciding she's ready for sex and then getting pregnant as a result.

I stumbled across a huge discussion on this on the BBC's site and there was a message by a woman, whose parents were 42 and 49 when they had her. She said she grew up with the constant fear of losing them before she was ready to make it on her own in this world.

I wonder if Iliescu or Mahapatra bothered to consider that before they went ahead to fulfill their own selfish desires.

Fun Fact

Usually, by the time I roll into the subway station, all the free newspapers are already gone, but today there was still a stack of them.

At lunch, I was flipping through it and I came across this little fun factoid: did you know that for most job ads, only six people get called in for an interview?

I found that really depressing. The odds of getting called for an interview is practically the same as winning the lottery --- except, you don't get anything great like freedom and security for the rest of your life. All that it promises you is a chance to sweat profusely in front of a panel of unsmiling, smugly employed people while you stammer your way through a list of standard questions that don't necessarily tell an employer anything. (Ever heard of lying?)

You know what question I hate the most? It's the one where they ask you, "Where do you see yourself in five years?"

Who wants to think that far ahead? Things have a way of falling apart on you and there's no point in making plans because life isn't something you can plan for.

Sometimes...

A friend of mine asked, "What's wrong with me? Why is it that everyone else around me has found someone, or is in the process of finding someone? I'm happy for them --- I really am --- but what about me?"

She said she was sick of being on the shelf, of trying to figure out what it was that she was lacking that keeps her form having the kind of happiness that everyone else seems to have.

She reasoned that it couldn't be the way she looks or the way she is becuase all sorts of people find love --- ugly, beautiful, mean, nice, sweet, short, tall, thin and fat.

The thing that got me the most was when she said, "People as pathetic as me should be shot. We're contaminating the gene pool."

Most of time, well-meaning friends will say, "Don't worry. The minute you stop looking, it'll happen for you."

My thinking on this?

You shouldn't say that becuase you don't know if it's true.

Personally, I've reached a point in my life where I don't care anymore. And it's a pretty nice place to be. Now, I'm not saying that you should give up and resign yourself to spinsterhood altogether. All I'm saying is that I think it's important to be in a place in your life where you're okay with you. It makes a world of difference to walk down a stree with your head held up high because you respect yourself and know that maybe you're not with anyone yet simply because you haven't found what you're looking for and that you're not willing to settle for anything less.

I don't tell people not to worry or that their perfect someone is waiting around the corner --- I'm not psychic, after all. But what I do tell people is that being okay with yourself goes a long way to helping to melt away that loneliness.

I just think that there's something innately attractive about someone who's completely okay with who they are.

Besides...it's dangerous to think that you'll instantly become happy as soon as someone comes into your life...that life gets better somehow.

Happiness isn't about big events that you have to wait an eternity for; it's not about waiting for certain elements to fall into place first before you get to be happy.

I think happiness is just there...like little pockets of rain water on the ground...in moments like hearing a favourite song on the radio or waking up to see sunlight slanting across your bed through the blinds or randomly picking up a really good book from the library.

Those have to count, too, don't they?

How come nobody counts them?

I like to think about that Ronan Keating song, "Life Is A Rollercoaster" --- there's all these ups and downs, but the point is that even at a low point, you know you're never going to be be there forever. In a way, being content is realizing that life's about balance.

To appreciate warmth, you've got to be out in the cold; to appreciate happiness, you've got to endure sadness and pain.

Aid Relief

Coverage since Dec. 26 has focused mostly on the aftermath of the tsunami disaster --- and rightly so. It'd seem inappropriate, somehow, to focus on other things.

Lots of people have made mention of the tragedy in their blogs, discussing plans to donate to the relief effort and encouraging others to follow their example. But then again, an equal amount of people have ignored what's been going on in the news and continued to detail the little events of their lives.

Sadly enough, that's just the way things go.

Couldn't help but think about a scene from Hotel Rwanda, where jaded journalist, Joaquin Phoenix voices the truth to a hopeful Don Cheadle, who believes the television footage of the massacre will force people all around the world to action.

Phoneix tells Cheadle: ''If people see this footage, they'll say, 'Oh my God, that's terrible,' and they'll go on eating their dinners.''

I read a review about the movie, where the critic said it seemed as if Hotel Rwanda tried too hard to evoke an emotional response from reviewers --- when it shouldn't need to.

What happened was horrible and it should have compelled us to action when it first occured. But years after the fact, watching the movie for the first time...it's too late to be moved to tears.

We should have been moved beyond tears and into action long before a movie like this came along to remind us of how horribly we humans treat one another.

New Year's Day

Reading like any other dried-up old rag, the Toronto Star predictably trotted out a list to fill up space in its "Arts" section, stating a number of things that its editorial staff felt ought to be banned in 2005.

Number 6 on the list reads, "Blogging by John Smith of Cowpoke, Wisc., and thousands just like him, detailing their boring lives, inane observations and irrelevant interests."

Granted, 98% of the online journals you'll find on the big ol' world wide web aren't worth wasting even a fraction of a millasecond scrolling through, but it struck me as insanely hilarious that The Star actually felt it was in some way behaving as a barometer of "cool" by thumbing its nose at the various fads of 2004.

If anything, it just made the Star seem even more hopelessly uncool.