Sometimes...
A friend of mine asked, "What's wrong with me? Why is it that everyone else around me has found someone, or is in the process of finding someone? I'm happy for them --- I really am --- but what about me?"
She said she was sick of being on the shelf, of trying to figure out what it was that she was lacking that keeps her form having the kind of happiness that everyone else seems to have.
She reasoned that it couldn't be the way she looks or the way she is becuase all sorts of people find love --- ugly, beautiful, mean, nice, sweet, short, tall, thin and fat.
The thing that got me the most was when she said, "People as pathetic as me should be shot. We're contaminating the gene pool."
Most of time, well-meaning friends will say, "Don't worry. The minute you stop looking, it'll happen for you."
My thinking on this?
You shouldn't say that becuase you don't know if it's true.
Personally, I've reached a point in my life where I don't care anymore. And it's a pretty nice place to be. Now, I'm not saying that you should give up and resign yourself to spinsterhood altogether. All I'm saying is that I think it's important to be in a place in your life where you're okay with you. It makes a world of difference to walk down a stree with your head held up high because you respect yourself and know that maybe you're not with anyone yet simply because you haven't found what you're looking for and that you're not willing to settle for anything less.
I don't tell people not to worry or that their perfect someone is waiting around the corner --- I'm not psychic, after all. But what I do tell people is that being okay with yourself goes a long way to helping to melt away that loneliness.
I just think that there's something innately attractive about someone who's completely okay with who they are.
Besides...it's dangerous to think that you'll instantly become happy as soon as someone comes into your life...that life gets better somehow.
Happiness isn't about big events that you have to wait an eternity for; it's not about waiting for certain elements to fall into place first before you get to be happy.
I think happiness is just there...like little pockets of rain water on the ground...in moments like hearing a favourite song on the radio or waking up to see sunlight slanting across your bed through the blinds or randomly picking up a really good book from the library.
Those have to count, too, don't they?
How come nobody counts them?
I like to think about that Ronan Keating song, "Life Is A Rollercoaster" --- there's all these ups and downs, but the point is that even at a low point, you know you're never going to be be there forever. In a way, being content is realizing that life's about balance.
To appreciate warmth, you've got to be out in the cold; to appreciate happiness, you've got to endure sadness and pain.
She said she was sick of being on the shelf, of trying to figure out what it was that she was lacking that keeps her form having the kind of happiness that everyone else seems to have.
She reasoned that it couldn't be the way she looks or the way she is becuase all sorts of people find love --- ugly, beautiful, mean, nice, sweet, short, tall, thin and fat.
The thing that got me the most was when she said, "People as pathetic as me should be shot. We're contaminating the gene pool."
Most of time, well-meaning friends will say, "Don't worry. The minute you stop looking, it'll happen for you."
My thinking on this?
You shouldn't say that becuase you don't know if it's true.
Personally, I've reached a point in my life where I don't care anymore. And it's a pretty nice place to be. Now, I'm not saying that you should give up and resign yourself to spinsterhood altogether. All I'm saying is that I think it's important to be in a place in your life where you're okay with you. It makes a world of difference to walk down a stree with your head held up high because you respect yourself and know that maybe you're not with anyone yet simply because you haven't found what you're looking for and that you're not willing to settle for anything less.
I don't tell people not to worry or that their perfect someone is waiting around the corner --- I'm not psychic, after all. But what I do tell people is that being okay with yourself goes a long way to helping to melt away that loneliness.
I just think that there's something innately attractive about someone who's completely okay with who they are.
Besides...it's dangerous to think that you'll instantly become happy as soon as someone comes into your life...that life gets better somehow.
Happiness isn't about big events that you have to wait an eternity for; it's not about waiting for certain elements to fall into place first before you get to be happy.
I think happiness is just there...like little pockets of rain water on the ground...in moments like hearing a favourite song on the radio or waking up to see sunlight slanting across your bed through the blinds or randomly picking up a really good book from the library.
Those have to count, too, don't they?
How come nobody counts them?
I like to think about that Ronan Keating song, "Life Is A Rollercoaster" --- there's all these ups and downs, but the point is that even at a low point, you know you're never going to be be there forever. In a way, being content is realizing that life's about balance.
To appreciate warmth, you've got to be out in the cold; to appreciate happiness, you've got to endure sadness and pain.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home