Setting Out On An Ice Flow

The idea of setting myself out on an ice flow and freezing to death sounds really good.

Learning about the Native Americans was always the best part of history. The old and sick really knew their place. If you weren't of any use any more, you'd just wander off somewhere to die.

Simple as that.

I'm just in one of my moods...a mood that hasn't lifted for about a month or so. The older I get, the more depressed I get. I should really go see a shrink, but the vain part of me finds that so distasteful.

I don't like weak, indecisive people...maybe it's because I see a bit of weakness and indecisiveness in myself.

I tend to dislike people who remind me of me.

Does that make any sense at all?

I was watching an old episode of "Northern Exposure" the other day where Ed is being followed everywhere by this little green man. The medicine man, Leonard, explains to Ed that the little green man is Ed's demon: low self esteem.

Leonard's thinking was that we hate others because we hate ourselves.

It sort of made sense to me.

I don't know. My mind's pretty warped right now. I can't stand being around anyone. All I want is to be left alone, but at the same time, I wish there was someone I could talk to.

The problem with telling other people your problems is that nobody ever really wants to hear them. People aren't really good at listening. All they want to do is blab about themselves. Like, who gives a shit about your life?

When I'm talking to someone, I really listen to what they have to say. They're always so amazed when I remember stuff they've told me before.

I find when there's something bugging me, it's better to just write it down somewhere instead.