Awhile back, I got this email about a password reset request for this blog...which kind of made me go, "Huh?" It made me wonder if someone had actually tried to figure out how to gain access to my blog...which makes no sense. I mean, it's not like email, where there's some private stuff.

 

Not sure why, but I found myself thinking about it again this morning.

 

I started the publishing course on Saturday.

 

As soon as the words "group project" was mentioned, I just sort of felt like holding up both hands and going, "I'm done."

 

I don't know what it is about group work that's always made me feel dread. I mean, I don't get it because I'm okay with it at work. Maybe it's because nothing really changes --- you're with the same core group of people day in and day out. But with school? It's different.

 

I've also been thinking a lot about my years in high school and university, how I always wanted them to be over with --- or like Dwayne said in "Little Miss Sunshine", I just wanted to sleep through it and wake up once it was over with.

 

(Watched it over the weekend and I think it's one of those movies that you either love or that you hate. I thought it was cute.)

 

I actually like where I am now.

 

I just forget that I chose to do this certificate, you know? And the last course I did, there was no group work. But this?

 

Crap. I'm so sleepy today. I don't know how long I've been staring at the same sentence...and who knows if my eyes were even really open?

 

Where was I?

 

Oh, right.

 

The thing I don't like about group projects --- when you don't know anybody in the class --- is that nagging sense of not wanting to be the odd person out that nobody wants in their group.

 

God. I'm two years away from 30 and I'm actually worried about something like this?

 

It's kind of stupid, isn't it?

 

A part of me is wondering why I'm doing this...right...the need to explore different avenues in the hope of finding a career that DOESN'T make me want to slit my wrists.

 

I don't know...it's like, somewhere along the way, you kind of convince yourself that you're just enduring something and that you're blandly accepting the way things are and that life isn't meant to be all sunshine all the time.

 

Ugh.

 

I'm at work right now and I think I'm suffering from pre-PMS or something.

 

Yeah. That's right. Pre-PMS.

 

Why-oh-why does that little old woman across from me have to drink from a friggin' squeeze bottle? Why doesn't she unscrew the cap and drink from the opening rather than sucking and slurping noisily?

 

Today --- especially today --- I feel like I shouldn't be held liable if I wind up boxing someone in the face.