Today's Soundtrack - "Sway" by The Perishers
I think one of the main things that I forget --- being single, that is --- is that sometimes, I really prefer being alone and being able to do whatever the hell I want.
I don't have to accomodate anybody else; I don't have to worry about someone else's feelings; I can sleep in the middle of the bed; I can watch what I want to watch on TV.
Sometimes...you forget that.
The other day, CR asked me if I thought she'd ever find somebody again and be happy.
My mouth twisted into a wry smile and I made some glib response.
I'm not comfortable with saying, "Yes, of course."
For all I know, that could be a lie and I'm not a peddler of false hope.
But I wonder if SR is right --- that sometimes, we need a bit of blind hope; we need to firmly believe in it, because in the end, that is what will make our heart's deepest desire come true.
I'd like to believe it, but when she said it, I wanted to sock her in the face and tell her it was one of the more stupid things I'd ever heard come out of her mouth.
I haven't talked to her in over a week. When she called last weekend, I just wasn't in the mood, you know? The older I get, the less patience I have for her naivety. (Come to think of it, I have less patience in general...tonight, it was five minutes before I was supposed to leave and this guy I work with just sat there beside me, hemming and hawing, staring at my computer monitor as if the answer would magically appear before his eyes if only he stared long enough. Instead of stewing about it afterwards, I abruptly said, "I'm going to take off now. You can mull over this tomorrow.")
You just reach that threshold of tolerance and you just think, "I don't want to listen to this anymore."
Sometimes, I think...if I look back on this day years from now...will I remember any of it? Was there even anything worth remembering?
I think one of the main things that I forget --- being single, that is --- is that sometimes, I really prefer being alone and being able to do whatever the hell I want.
I don't have to accomodate anybody else; I don't have to worry about someone else's feelings; I can sleep in the middle of the bed; I can watch what I want to watch on TV.
Sometimes...you forget that.
The other day, CR asked me if I thought she'd ever find somebody again and be happy.
My mouth twisted into a wry smile and I made some glib response.
I'm not comfortable with saying, "Yes, of course."
For all I know, that could be a lie and I'm not a peddler of false hope.
But I wonder if SR is right --- that sometimes, we need a bit of blind hope; we need to firmly believe in it, because in the end, that is what will make our heart's deepest desire come true.
I'd like to believe it, but when she said it, I wanted to sock her in the face and tell her it was one of the more stupid things I'd ever heard come out of her mouth.
I haven't talked to her in over a week. When she called last weekend, I just wasn't in the mood, you know? The older I get, the less patience I have for her naivety. (Come to think of it, I have less patience in general...tonight, it was five minutes before I was supposed to leave and this guy I work with just sat there beside me, hemming and hawing, staring at my computer monitor as if the answer would magically appear before his eyes if only he stared long enough. Instead of stewing about it afterwards, I abruptly said, "I'm going to take off now. You can mull over this tomorrow.")
You just reach that threshold of tolerance and you just think, "I don't want to listen to this anymore."
Sometimes, I think...if I look back on this day years from now...will I remember any of it? Was there even anything worth remembering?
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