Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle is on in the background and damnit, I want White Castle. But I don't think they even have White Castle here.

Okay, so what I'm really craving is just any old hamburger. Something greasy --- something the doctor said to avoid for a few days. But when you haven't eaten anything solid for a few days (without immediately throwing it up right afterwards) and you're specifically told not to eat certain things, that's the only thing you suddenly want to have.

It was sort of like on Friday morning, when I got into work, weak and hungover. All I could think about was McDonald's. I had to go to McDonald's and the next thing I knew, I was shrugging on my jacket and making a beeline for the nearest restaurant.

I didn't watch Harold and Kumar when it came out 'cause I thought it looked stupid. But it's actually pretty funny --- in a stupid way.

So, anyway, there's this guy at work who's leaving the company. At first, I thought, "Cool. He's actually done something to get out of this hellhole to find something he might like better."

I don't even know why I care if he's happy or not --- maybe it's because he sort of reminds me of me. You know how, sometimes, you'll meet someone and you can just tell from the way their shoulders sag and the way their smiles really reflect in their eyes or the way they sigh softly when they say certain things...well, you can just tell that there's this weariness to them that's hard to understand unless you feel it, too.

I just think it's funny how, sometimes, someone will matter to you --- and not in any romantic sense --- even though you know they're not really going to wind up your friend or a part of your life.

But maybe that's just me.

Why do I care?

So, I got berrated today because when SR asked if I was up for being set up on a blind date, I said no.

When I told CR that SR had said the guy made her think of "knights in shining armour", CR just looked at me and said, "And you turned down the opportunity to at least meet up with him? Have a cup of coffee with the guy?"

I couldn't really explain it, but when SR first approached me about it, I just felt every fibre of my being screaming, "No, no, no."

And I really don't want to go on a date with this guy just because I feel like this is the sort of thing I need to do to "put myself out there" in an attempt to find someone to spend the rest of my life with.

Who knows? Maybe I'm just being stubborn.

You know, it's not even so much about being hung up on J.

It's not that.

Or maybe I'm just telling myself that.