Thursday, August 03, 2006

Bullshit Job Interviews - Pt. 1

What a colossal fucking waste of my fucking time!!!

But, seriously, what the fuck did I expect for a government position?

What pisses me off is how I wasted time away from work to go to this stupid fucking interview where they give me a bullshit math test that has nothing to do with the job. I mean, between all the complicated HR-speak describing the position, it's not hard to figure out what you'd really be doing.

It's the kind of job that requires training, but which will be a cake-walk once you've gotten everything down pat.

But, you know, before you actually get to the trained monkey position, you have to crawl through a tiny little hoop covered in barbed wire that also happens to be set on fire. You manage to get through that and then maybe you get a chance to sit with three condescending middle-aged people who think they rule the fucking universe.

You know, I think the main reason I'm so fucking pissed off about this is because when I interviewed for the newswire position --- an actual job where it wasn't a cake-walk, I had to go through hurdles, too...but legitimate ones. I had to do an interview, a three hour written test (because it was relevant to the job), and a three-day work trial.

I could actually see the point to that all.

But this?

This is just bullshit!!!
*************************
From: Anonymous Writer
To: Music Girl
Date: Aug 3, 2006 8:17 AM
Subject: Re: Job

The interview.

It was the biggest piece of bullshit I'd ever seen.

You read the job description, right? I mean, sure, they make it sound like intricate brain surgery or something.

Well, guess what?

I get there and it's a really posh office and they announce that we have to pass this test first before we're actually guaranteed an interview. Pass mark is 70.

Okay, fine.

They hand us this test like we're writing the LSAT or the MCAT. And you know what kind of questions are on there?

They have a friggin' diagram of a room with measurements and tell you the price of laying out carpet per square feet. They want you to calculate the total cost.

Then, they have a number sequence question, going, "What's the next number?"

And then, they had a "creative writing" portion where you have to write a letter.

GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK!!!

Don't tell me there isn't a standardized letter on the shared drive that I'll be copying and pasting from!

One of the questions had a lot to do with the job, I suppose, but you know, if you're reading their web site, it doesn't tell you what it is.

I sat there for awhile and then thought, "What? It's not like I'm going to miraculously pull the answer out of my ass."

When I left, I felt pretty dejected. Back to square one, you know?

It's like, why can't the universe just fucking cut me some slack for once?

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