Carpe Diem, My Ass
I’m having trouble sleeping
I’m thinking of what you said
About the tears been shed
Leave me
It’s you
Now and always you
but never me
I’ve never dared to let my feelings free
Why’s it always you and never me?
-The Perishers, “Trouble Sleeping”
I’m listening to The Perishers, this Swedish quartet that I am completely in love with. I don’t even know how I stumbled across their music. Maybe one of their songs was featured on Grey’s Anatomy? I don’t know. But I started listening to them and sometimes, I’m in a mood like this one and I just need to listen to Ola Klüft’s voice. He’s got this sad kind of voice that just makes me feel…well, less bad, I suppose.
Sometimes, I re-read things that I’ve written and I wonder how it’s possible that I’m still functioning, still alive. I would have thought I’d slit my wrists by now…and yeah, I know it’s not kosher to be joking about shit like that, but when you’re depressed, it gets hard to find a reason to wake up in the morning, you know?
I told myself that I’d write about whatever happened and that as soon as the words were committed to the screen, then it’d be over with and I’d just have to move on.
But that’s the thing…moving on is always so fucking hard to do. What is it about the past that makes it so inviting to cling on to? It can’t do anything for us; and sometimes, the memories we’re holding onto are just downright painful. Are we sadists when we hang onto our pain?
Carpe diem, the dead smart ones advise us.
We watch inspiring movies that tell us to seize the day and for an hour or two, we’re moved to attempt this, but in reality, a lot of us don’t. We get lazy. We tell ourselves that there’s always tomorrow and sometimes, we even convince ourselvse that it’s necessary for us to wallow in our self-pity just for this one day before we get on the whole, “live your life to the fullest” routine.
We continue to blunder our way through life, wasting time, never fully believing in our mortality.
And we all know this. Some of us even think about it a lot. But instead of getting off our asses and doing something to make life mean something, we continue to plod along…because in the grand scheme of things, what are we even here for? What’s the meaning of life? Does it matter if there’s a meaning?
*le sigh*
I think way too much.
Quote of the day:
“You hang on to your pain like it means something. Well, let me tell you --- it’s not worth shit. Let it go! Infinite possibilities and all he does is whine.” – Nathaniel, “Six Feet Under”
I’m thinking of what you said
About the tears been shed
Leave me
It’s you
Now and always you
but never me
I’ve never dared to let my feelings free
Why’s it always you and never me?
-The Perishers, “Trouble Sleeping”
I’m listening to The Perishers, this Swedish quartet that I am completely in love with. I don’t even know how I stumbled across their music. Maybe one of their songs was featured on Grey’s Anatomy? I don’t know. But I started listening to them and sometimes, I’m in a mood like this one and I just need to listen to Ola Klüft’s voice. He’s got this sad kind of voice that just makes me feel…well, less bad, I suppose.
Sometimes, I re-read things that I’ve written and I wonder how it’s possible that I’m still functioning, still alive. I would have thought I’d slit my wrists by now…and yeah, I know it’s not kosher to be joking about shit like that, but when you’re depressed, it gets hard to find a reason to wake up in the morning, you know?
I told myself that I’d write about whatever happened and that as soon as the words were committed to the screen, then it’d be over with and I’d just have to move on.
But that’s the thing…moving on is always so fucking hard to do. What is it about the past that makes it so inviting to cling on to? It can’t do anything for us; and sometimes, the memories we’re holding onto are just downright painful. Are we sadists when we hang onto our pain?
Carpe diem, the dead smart ones advise us.
We watch inspiring movies that tell us to seize the day and for an hour or two, we’re moved to attempt this, but in reality, a lot of us don’t. We get lazy. We tell ourselves that there’s always tomorrow and sometimes, we even convince ourselvse that it’s necessary for us to wallow in our self-pity just for this one day before we get on the whole, “live your life to the fullest” routine.
We continue to blunder our way through life, wasting time, never fully believing in our mortality.
And we all know this. Some of us even think about it a lot. But instead of getting off our asses and doing something to make life mean something, we continue to plod along…because in the grand scheme of things, what are we even here for? What’s the meaning of life? Does it matter if there’s a meaning?
*le sigh*
I think way too much.
Quote of the day:
“You hang on to your pain like it means something. Well, let me tell you --- it’s not worth shit. Let it go! Infinite possibilities and all he does is whine.” – Nathaniel, “Six Feet Under”
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home