I've been joking around with my kid sister that the main message I'm getting from all these self-help tapes that mom got from work is this: you can get anything you set your mind to...so, if you really want someone, you just have to be like David Sedaris, shake your fist at the sky and say, "As God as my witness, he will be mine!"

Yeah.

That just kind of makes me sound like a stalker-in-training or something...and we all know how much I hate that kind of behaviour. (Though, really, who likes it?)

If I'm more accurate, though, it's really that co-dependent sort of behaviour that I really hate. I just don't like it when someone depends on you too much. I mean, unless you're family or a best friend I've known for 20 odd years, then what gives?

I was kind of weirded out when someone at work said something the other day, implying that she thought we were best friends or something.

And true to commitment-phobe form, I didn't want to talk to her anymore.

It's been this pattern in my life.

People weird me out when they start calling me everyday and depending on me too much to either listen to them or entertain them.

That's another thing I don't like...yes, I get the fact that a lot of people think I'm funny and amusing, but that doesn't mean I'm going to be funny all the time. Sometimes, you have an off day and you just don't want to talk to anybody.

Ain't nothing wrong with that.

But then there's the questions: are you okay? What's wrong? Is something going on? Are you mad at me?

*sigh*

It's such an effort to pretend to be happy all the time.