So, the interview was humming along and then:

What motivates you?

I resist the urge to stare blankly at the panel and go, "Uhhhh, I dunno."

Interviewer #3 leans forward and pipes up:

Yeah, what makes you want to get up in the morning?

Honest answer? I get my fill of sleep, can't sleep anymore and wake up.

I wonder what they would have said if I'd replied, "Honestly? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. As a matter of fact, if I don't get this job, I plan on going home and slitting my wrists. So, if you don't hire me, my blood will be on your hands."

The thing is, when you head in for a job interview (and I actually used to think that blind dates were worse than job interviews...but that had more to do with not having been to a job interview in awhile), your mind just goes blank. All of those trained monkey answers you've been struggling to commit to memory just go out the window. You sit there, feeling shaky and fragile, thinking, "Oh-dear-God-please-just-give-me-the-fucking-job."

Yeah, so I don't think I gave the best of impressions.

I think I blathered on like some lunatic. My voice might have even reached that high-pitched, only-dogs-can-hear, hysterical tone.

And then, I had to come back here where I seem to be the first person out of our department who's actually managed to get a job interview.

I hated all those How'd it go? looks 'cause the thing is, if I don't get it, that'll just haunt me.