When Life Hands You Lemons...

Yeah. We're still laughing about what happened yesterday. And I think it has more to do with reaching the hysteria stage of the cycle. (The others being denial, anger, and acceptance.)

In keeping with the whole rats-on-a-sinking-ship metaphor, it sort of feels like they launched a canonball into the hull of the ship and it's like, there's absolutely no way of clinging on.

The other day, I read in the paper that 75% of people think it's wrong to steal office supplies.

Yesterday, I decided the bulk of my time would be spent at work looking for another job. The other percentage would be spent wiping clean the supply closet as a passive aggressive way of saying, "Fuck you."

Though, yesterday, when the red-haired, pinchy-faced HR bitch announced that they'd set up a questions box in the coffee room, I considered writing the following on strips of paper and just cramming them inside:

FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU LARGE.

YOU CAN GO FUCK YOURSELVES.

I HOPE YOU ALL DIE A LONG, PAINFUL MISERABLE DEATH.

Petty? Yes. Mean? Yes.

Wiping away tears of laughter, my sister was like, "Well, they'll all die eventually, Jo."

That's not the point. When you're hysterical angry like this, you want the sooner-rather-than-later variety.

I joked that we should have waited to get on the elevator with El Presidente and Red Haired, Pinchy Faced Bitch when we skipped out of work early yesterday. The other girl was like, "Yeah, the elevator's small, there's no escape and there's no cameras. We'd just cover both their heads with bags and smother them."

I asked my mother yesterday, "Why'd they do it on a Thursday? What kind of guarantees do they have that one of us isn't going to stew all night and come in the next day with a sawed-off shot gun? Or a machete? It'd be a total crime of passion and everybody in the company would have been like, 'Yeah, they only did what we all wanted done.'"

One of the girl's boyfriends is convinced we're totally cracked, the way we're still laughing and joking around about this.

But seriously, what the hell are you going to do if you're not going to laugh about it?

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So, Big Brother All Stars kicked off last night. Yes. I fully realize that it's uber-crap television...but as with all bad television, it's so bad, it's good.

And I also needed something to tide me over while Season 2 of Veronica Mars downloaded (now, THAT'S quality TV).

CTV --- the Canadian channel that carried season 1 of Veronica Mars last summer --- opted not to air season 2 because the head of programming at CTV obviously has shit for brains. I mean, this is the network that airs "Comedy Central". Seriously, who the fuck watches that show? It's not even funny. Just watching the commercials annoys me, 'cause the "actors" remind me of irritating kids who try too hard to get a laugh and all you really want to do is knock them upside the head for being the blights on society that they are.

Yeah, so, anyway, on the CTV message boards, there was this whole campaign to get them to air season 2 of Veronica Mars and some guy suggested downloading via TorrentSpy, but CTV quickly moved in and said, "No, no. That's wrong."

Whatever. I mean, if we can't watch it on CTV and we don't get UPN (or whatever the hell the new channel's called), then what the hell are we supposed to do?

And need I remind you that in my impending jobless state, I won't exactly be flush with money and able to waste money on the DVD.

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Anonymous Writer's Tip of the Day:

When life hands you lemons, just take in every goddamned sour drop of it even if it kills you --- 'cause even if you whine about it, you can't ever let 'em see you weak. You've got your fucking pride, after all. And the rest of those assholes? Well, they can just go fuck themselves.