Saturday, November 19, 2005

I Get The Feeling Things Will Be All Right

Went for a walk to try and clear my head. Listened to "City Lights" by the Umbrellas on repeat. It's really grey out --- like, it looks like it's about to rain. But it wasn't too cold. I enjoyed walking 'cause it helped me feel...better. I kept thinking about why, whenever I feel like I've met someone that I could connect with, it turns out he's a freak. I think I'm more upset about losing the idea of him than actually losing him...he was never mine to begin with.
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So, last night, as I drifted off to sleep, I kinda wondered, when and if I was ever going to meet "the one".
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You know what I wonder?

I wonder if, maybe, I'm just incapable of feeling any real love for anybody. Like, a huge part of the problem is that there's just nobody out there for me.

I mean, I've said it a million times before, but I've never really faced the truth: there's nobody out there for me. Not a single one out of the billions of people who inhabit this planet.

You know how I always said I wouldn't settle? You know what? I'm getting to that stage where I know it's a lie. I look at people around me and I know in my heart that there's no perfect soul mate out there for me...and I do know I'll wind up settling for someone who's "enough".

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