I Heart David Sedaris
Oh my God, I'm obsessed.
If I was a gay man, I’d want to marry him. But seeing as how I’m not interested in doing a sex change operation, it’d probably be easier if he was a straight guy.
It’s cruel how life is sometimes.
I'm in love with David Sedaris --- mostly because he's a fucking inspiration.
Found myself reading certain essays in his book and thinking, "Oh my God! Me, too! I do that, too!" or "Holy turds! My parents are like that, too." And then, I had this vague sense of, "Um, yeah, maybe I'm sounding like one of those scary psychos in daytime soaps." You know the kind, right? The ones who build shrines with whole walls covered in glossy, studio shots of their victims and candles all lit underneath it, 'cause, you know, it's not like psychos can afford to pay their electricity bills or anything, see as they don't work. I mean, how can they? They're busy stalking their loved one all day.
Not that I'd ever do that with David Sedaris.
I mean, I had this mini shrine to Jude Law once, but then the whole nanny thing happened and I had to tear his picture off my wall because that just really disappointed me.
Anyways...
I've been thinking lately about how, a couple of nights ago, I was on the train coming home when I overheard these two people talking about some project they were working on and it was obvious they were uber smart, successful people making a real difference in the world with their unpronouncable scientific research thingies. And standing there, I felt like this colossal loser, who couldn't help questioning what the hell happened to make me fritter away my God given potential to be really, truly something?
'Cause, you know, like David Sedaris, I have this completely unfounded sense of intellectual superiority that is 100% baseless.
Baseless or not, I still feel like I could have potentially found a cure for HIV one day or single-handedly brokered peace in the Middle East.
Instead, I work at...well, let's not get into where I work. Let's just assume for entertainment purposes that I'm a drug mule and leave it at that.
And call me a melodramatic hoe if you want, but this really plummeted me into the throes of depression.
But then, I started thinking about how God's always given me pretty clear signs as to what He wants me to do with my life.
If David Sedaris can become successful as a writer then maybe I could, too.
If I was a gay man, I’d want to marry him. But seeing as how I’m not interested in doing a sex change operation, it’d probably be easier if he was a straight guy.
It’s cruel how life is sometimes.
I'm in love with David Sedaris --- mostly because he's a fucking inspiration.
Found myself reading certain essays in his book and thinking, "Oh my God! Me, too! I do that, too!" or "Holy turds! My parents are like that, too." And then, I had this vague sense of, "Um, yeah, maybe I'm sounding like one of those scary psychos in daytime soaps." You know the kind, right? The ones who build shrines with whole walls covered in glossy, studio shots of their victims and candles all lit underneath it, 'cause, you know, it's not like psychos can afford to pay their electricity bills or anything, see as they don't work. I mean, how can they? They're busy stalking their loved one all day.
Not that I'd ever do that with David Sedaris.
I mean, I had this mini shrine to Jude Law once, but then the whole nanny thing happened and I had to tear his picture off my wall because that just really disappointed me.
Anyways...
I've been thinking lately about how, a couple of nights ago, I was on the train coming home when I overheard these two people talking about some project they were working on and it was obvious they were uber smart, successful people making a real difference in the world with their unpronouncable scientific research thingies. And standing there, I felt like this colossal loser, who couldn't help questioning what the hell happened to make me fritter away my God given potential to be really, truly something?
'Cause, you know, like David Sedaris, I have this completely unfounded sense of intellectual superiority that is 100% baseless.
Baseless or not, I still feel like I could have potentially found a cure for HIV one day or single-handedly brokered peace in the Middle East.
Instead, I work at...well, let's not get into where I work. Let's just assume for entertainment purposes that I'm a drug mule and leave it at that.
And call me a melodramatic hoe if you want, but this really plummeted me into the throes of depression.
But then, I started thinking about how God's always given me pretty clear signs as to what He wants me to do with my life.
If David Sedaris can become successful as a writer then maybe I could, too.
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home