I'm listening to Travis' Writing To Reach You:



"Whatever's in my head won't go away," Fran Healey sings.

I get that.

Sometimes, I get the sense that certain people only connect with me better when I'm depressed, too. Like, when you're okay, maybe you're not worth as much to them.

Just a random thought that's been criss-crossing my head lately.

*

It's Thanksgiving in Canada today.

In the next couple of weeks, it'll be my birthday.

I've never been the type who enjoyed celebrating my birthday --- and it has nothing to do with the whole getting-older thing, either. I'm gonna be 28. Not exactly old, but not exactly young, either. But age is just a number. I'd like to say it doesn't feel any different from being 25, but the truth is, the older you get, the more shit happens to you and it just changes you --- some of it in small ways, some of it in really big ways.

You know, there are some days, where it's like, I think I've gotten really good at not caring anymore.

Sometimes, though, I just wonder if I'm just saying that...you know, to console myself. To make myself feel a little bit better, when the truth is, I don't feel better. I just feel the same. But the same is better than feeling worse, right?

So, maybe what I'm doing is just pretending.