Like The Blind Leading The Blind

Sometimes, I wish I'd never read that book, "He's Just Not That Into You" because, more often than not, I'll readily dismiss someone and tell myself, "Well, it's obvious he's just not that into me."

I'd rather think this than play the fool and risk getting hurt.

Over the course of this week, I've been told by more than one person that I'm really difficult to get to know. I've even been accused of putting up walls, though I wasn't even aware that this is what I've been doing.

You know what I think my main problem is with this whole dating game? I don't want to be the kind of girl who falls too fast and too hard in the beginning. I've never subscribed to the notion that falling in love is supposed to be this whirlwind romance because how the hell are you supposed to figure out if the person you're with is really "the one" when you're in a whirlwind?

I look at some of my friends and I see how they lose their sense of self and become so wrapped up in the other person that they don't see how poisionous or toxic that relationship is.

I just don't want to make a fool of myself.

I guess that, the by-product of getting older is that it's not really about dating anymore. You're looking to settle down and as casual as you want to play this, at the end of it all, you're still just looking for that one person you're gonna want to share a life with and maybe have some kids with.

There are times, though, that I really worry that maybe I'll mistake something for love when in reality, I'm just settling because this person is a close approximation of everything I've always thought I wanted.