If you had a sibling who couldn't conceive, would you want to offer to be a surrogate or a sperm donor?
I mean, wanting to do something is different from actually offering --- 'cause, sometimes, we offer to do things that we don't really want to do...you know, out of obligation and this general sense of "it's the right thing to do."
The thing is, I'd actually had this discussion with my mother months ago, before the storyline on Brothers & Sisters started to play out.
Brother Tommy turns out to be sterile and he and his wife are trying to conceive.
They don't want to adopt and they're looking at sperm donors --- except, he doesn't want to raise a stranger's kid. He wants a child who'll be a part of who he is...he obviously can't love a child unless the child's blood related.
You know how I feel about this? If you do not have it in you to adopt and love a child regardless of their DNA, then maybe in the grander scheme of things, you're not meant to have kids.
But let's not get into that.
The part that really pissed me off was when sister Brenda...er, Sarah, played by Rachel Griffiths, started in on gay brother, Kevin, who didn't want to donate his sperm.
She snipes at him at the dinner table, in front of guests, calling him "selfish" for not wanting to do this for his brother.
And while I didn't like his reasoning --- he didn't want the kid to grow up and have to deal with the fact that his biological father is his gay uncle --- I still thought he had a right to deny his brother's request.
I mean, I thought it would have been more reasonable if he'd said something like, "It would hurt, knowing that that was my child and hearing him or her refer to me as the uncle."
Okay, maybe that seems selfish, but I always thought that, if I had no one in my life to grow old with and start a family with, it'd be incredibly hard for me to go through nine months and then give birth only to have the child raised by my sibling.
It would be hard for me --- especially since I firmly believe that if you want kids that badly, you would adopt.
It would sort of feel like I was losing out all over again. No husband, no kids.
But maybe it's different for men and women.
I mean, wanting to do something is different from actually offering --- 'cause, sometimes, we offer to do things that we don't really want to do...you know, out of obligation and this general sense of "it's the right thing to do."
The thing is, I'd actually had this discussion with my mother months ago, before the storyline on Brothers & Sisters started to play out.
Brother Tommy turns out to be sterile and he and his wife are trying to conceive.
They don't want to adopt and they're looking at sperm donors --- except, he doesn't want to raise a stranger's kid. He wants a child who'll be a part of who he is...he obviously can't love a child unless the child's blood related.
You know how I feel about this? If you do not have it in you to adopt and love a child regardless of their DNA, then maybe in the grander scheme of things, you're not meant to have kids.
But let's not get into that.
The part that really pissed me off was when sister Brenda...er, Sarah, played by Rachel Griffiths, started in on gay brother, Kevin, who didn't want to donate his sperm.
She snipes at him at the dinner table, in front of guests, calling him "selfish" for not wanting to do this for his brother.
And while I didn't like his reasoning --- he didn't want the kid to grow up and have to deal with the fact that his biological father is his gay uncle --- I still thought he had a right to deny his brother's request.
I mean, I thought it would have been more reasonable if he'd said something like, "It would hurt, knowing that that was my child and hearing him or her refer to me as the uncle."
Okay, maybe that seems selfish, but I always thought that, if I had no one in my life to grow old with and start a family with, it'd be incredibly hard for me to go through nine months and then give birth only to have the child raised by my sibling.
It would be hard for me --- especially since I firmly believe that if you want kids that badly, you would adopt.
It would sort of feel like I was losing out all over again. No husband, no kids.
But maybe it's different for men and women.
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