Friday night and into early Saturday morning, I was in that uncomfortable place where the nice little buzz I had been building up was rapidly wearing off and I was stuck in a booth with three friends --- two of whom were in the middle of a heated argument with each other.

When I tried to lighten the mood by joking I wasn't nearly drunk enough to deal with this, the Best Friend "jokingly" snapped I should go get another drink, then.

And now, two days later, I'm still puzzling over what the hell happened that night.

Sometimes, I think certain things are just better off unsaid, you know?

This afternoon was a quiet one for me. I found myself dozing off at one point and it was nice just stretching out on the couch on a lazy Sunday afternoon, just reading and feeling the nice breeze coming in from the open window.

A part of me is seriously thinking about doing a Buddhist pilgrimage tour in India...nevermind the fact that I'm not exactly Buddhist. I mean, my parents consider themselves Buddhist, but I'd be the first one to tell you they know crap about Buddhism.

Just because you've got paintings and statues around the house doesn't mean you know anything about Buddhism.

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about this need for spiritual reconnection.

It might have something to do with the books I've been reading, and it might have something to do with this slight sense of flux that I've been feeling. (Did I write about this in here? The state of flux that I've been embroiled in?)

I think I might be crap at meditation, though, 'cause invariably, I wind up falling asleep. I go from clearing my mind to just being asleep.

And prayer? Well, I think there's a "proper" way to do it...and it's not lying in bed having a frank discussion with God...because lying in bed leads to falling asleep.

I think I might have some low-grade form of narcolepsy or something...and that's the other thing: I sort of feel like I've been sleeping away most of my time. Any chance I get, my eyes are closed and my mind's shut off.

Maybe it's my way of coping with certain things in my life --- like the fact that I don't like dwelling on the unpleasant stuff...though, most of that "unpleasant" stuff isn't all that unpleasant.

I've got a pretty good life when I really stop and think about it.

I should be bloody grateful...so why is it that I'm always yearning for that one thing that I think is missing from my life?

Maybe that's just the human condition.

I think I might have a slight problem romance-wise...I always hate it when it becomes blatantly obvious that someone you like as a friend winds up liking you as more than a friend.

Usually, I play dumb and try to deflect as best as I can...and when that doesn't work, I do the disappearing act...though, this might be a hard one to get around seeing as we see each other every day and there's no way of getting around it.