Someone To Look Up To

Lisa Kudrow, in a bio on Diane Keaton, said that, to her, Keaton has always stood for someone who has lived life on her own terms.

And I think it's important for young women to have people like Keaton to look up to.

I was sitting in front of the television set, with a robe on and ratty bedroom slippers and a slice of cold pizza in one hand when I channel surfed my way to this bio --- and because I didn't have anything better to do and nobody I cared to talk to in a house full of people, I watched it, somewhat fascinated because biographies have always fascinated me. I mean, A&E Biography kind of has it down to pat, when they use this for their motto: Every life has a story.

I haven't written in...well, weeks.

I could use writer's block as an excuse, but the real culprit is depression --- which I'm not exactly afraid to own up to any more, even though I realize that it makes other people uncomfortable. But I guess the difference now is that I'm slowly beginning to think, "I don't really give a rat's ass if my depression makes you uncomfortable."

We all have our shit days, but the thing I always remind myself is that this kind of thing doesn't last forever --- or maybe I just won't let it, because, in the end, you've really got no choice but to press forward if you're going to be smart about it.

I've had this story idea percolating in my brain. I sort of feel like I need to wipe the slate clean and start over again because I've been working on the other novel for what seems like ages. Writing and rewriting and never getting anywhere.

Ah, well.

I'd gone to the art store, kind of thinking I'd go and pick up a new set of Derwent pencils seeing as my old set were now nubs, but I didn't buy them because I'd spent close to $80 today.

My sister, flush from getting a raise at work, didn't even bother to offer paying for lunch. I would have been okay staying at home making lunch, but guess what? She just sat there. Sat there and expected me to pay. Didn't even offer --- not that I would have taken her up on it, you know? But it would have been nice if she'd just bloody offered.